How to Ask Your Children for Their Passwords

mon and daughter walking outdoors and talking

You know you need to ask your children for their passwords so you can keep tabs on their online activity. But the thought of having that conversation causes you to break out into a cold sweat. What if they push back? What if they think you don’t trust them? Is this the internet equivalent of sneaking into their bedroom and reading their diary?

Even though your intentions are good, you have to tread lightly.

First, take a deep breath. You can do this. Remind yourself that you don’t need to have all the answers. You’ll make mistakes and you’ll course correct. The important thing is that you’re taking a crucial first step toward monitoring your child’s online activity.

After you’ve taken that deep breath (or two!), the next step is to have an open conversation with your child about why you need their logins. Here are some helpful tips for how to talk to them.

Free download: These passwords are the most important ones to have. Here's how to ask your child for them.

How to ask your children for their passwords

Ask questions

Listen more than you talk. Find out what your child’s online experience has been so far and if they have any concerns. Here are some examples of conversation starters:

  • What kind of videos do you like to watch on YouTube and TikTok?
  • Have you seen anyone leaving mean comments or bullying someone on social media?
  • Has anyone left you mean comments?
  • Has anyone you don't know sent you DMs (direct messages)?
  • Have you ever seen posts or videos that were so upsetting that you thought about them for a long time after?

Internet safety is an ongoing conversation and it’s important to create an open channel of communication right from the start.

Approach online safety as a partnership

Two of our biggest jobs as parents are to keep our children safe and to raise them into good adults. Let them know you aren’t interested in becoming a digital overlord spying on their every online move. Your goal is to respectfully guide them to develop responsible digital habits they’ll carry with them into adulthood.

It's like when you taught them how to cross the street. You didn’t just throw them into traffic as a toddler, did you? Of course not. You went from carrying them, to holding their hand, to walking next to them, until they were eventually ready to go it alone. Along the way you taught them to look both directions, pay attention, and use the crosswalk.

Think of Google or YouTube as the intersection of the internet—it’s your job to teach your kid how to safely get to the other side.

Set expectations

Kids need and want clear boundaries. (Not that they’ll ever admit it.) They feel safest and most confident when they know where the guiderails are.

And since you just talked about partnership, you can make expectation setting a collaborative effort. The more opportunity for input they have, the more buy-in you’re likely to get. You might even consider writing a digital family agreement together.

Tell your kids how you plan to use their logins

BrightCanary doesn't require passwords to monitor most apps, but you need your child's logins to monitor Google and YouTube. If you want to set up two-way text message monitoring, you will also need your child's Apple ID — which requires a conversation about passwords.

The beauty about a monitoring service like BrightCanary is that you don’t need to directly monitor every little click and tap to know your child is safe. (And let’s be honest, that is bound to be a relief for both of you. Because who has time to scroll through hundreds of interactions?)

Let your child know what kinds of activities that will trigger an alert and your plan for following up when one occurs.

Set a time to check in

After a few weeks of having their logins, sit down again to discuss how it’s going for you both. Periodically checking in and giving your child space to voice any questions or concerns they may have is vital for building trust.

Now that you have a game plan, it’s time to set it into motion.

Summary

Asking your child for their passwords can be awkward, but you can do it while maintaining two-way trust and respect. First ask questions about what they've seen and experienced online and on social media. Set expectations, tell them how you plan to use their logins, and set a regular time to review their activity.

You have your plan in place, so go ahead and call your child in to talk. Except they probably can’t hear you over the YouTube video they’re watching. Try texting them. No, wait . . . kids don’t text anymore. You’ll need to DM them on Instagram. Better yet, just wait until they wander into the kitchen for a snack.

You’ve got this.

Teen girl looking at phone in dark

Learning your child is getting groomed by a predator is every parent's nightmare, but knowing what to do next makes all the difference. 

I spoke with Detective Rich Wistocki, child crime expert and founder of BeSure Consulting, to get his step-by-step guidance on what to do if your child is talking to a predator online, from what evidence to gather to how to report it to law enforcement effectively.

What to do if your child is talking to a predator online

Wistocki warns not to report a predator to social media sites if you plan to go to the police. That’s because most platforms respond by deleting the offending account, thereby destroying evidence. Don’t do it.   

Instead, here are the steps Wistocki says to take if your child is targeted by an online predator.

1. Gather evidence 

Bringing evidence to law enforcement is key. BrightCanary’s monitoring tools make this much easier on iPhones and iPads because everything is preserved, even deleted messages. 

Wistocki says to gather these items:

  • Screen captures of everything.
  • The predator’s user ID and/or gamer tag. 
  • The predator’s phone number and e-mail (if available).

2. Prepare a statement 

Type a statement detailing everything that occurred, including how it made your child feel. 

3. Print everything 

People can delete messages, edit what they sent, or even delete their accounts. Print a hard copy of your statement and all evidence. 

4. Save evidence in two thumb drives

Upload your statement and evidence to two thumb drives. Give one to the police; keep the other as backup. 

5. Report it to the police 

Report the situation to law enforcement following Wistocki’s instructions in the next section. 

Get all these tips in a free downloadable guide:

How to report an online predator to the police

Reporting an online predator to the police protects your child and prevents the perpetrator from abusing more children. The problem, says Wistocki, is that “most of the patrol officers that you will call to take a report have no training in cybercrime and child exploitation. None.” 

Wistocki warns that this lack of training can hurt a family’s chances of getting law enforcement support. He says officers may insist it’s a civil matter and that there's nothing the police can do, which is incorrect. They may tell you they’ll handle everything, but not take a report or follow up. Or they might insist that if they take a report, they also have to arrest your child for taking inappropriate pictures. (This is false. “Officers are not going to arrest your child … I promise you,” says Wistocki.) 

Here are Wistocki’s tips for getting the police to take your report seriously: 

  • Bring evidence. Even if the officer has no training in cybercrime reporting, Wistocki says presenting them with your evidence may convince them to take a report. 
  • Escalate if needed. If the officer still refuses, wait about 30 minutes, then call back the 911 center and ask to speak to a supervisor. 
  • Be persistent. If the supervisor also refuses, contact the investigations unit and ask to speak with an Internet Crimes Against Children (ICAC)-trained detective. 

What happens after I make a report about an online predator? 

After you report a predator, an ICAC-trained detective will take over the case. What happens next depends on a few factors:

  • Female victims: The police will investigate. Wistocki insists that, no matter how many pains a predator takes to hide their identity, they can be found. “No one online is anonymous,” he says. “No one. I don’t care if they use VPNs, I don’t care if they use fake phone numbers. I can track it all.” 
  • Male victims: Wistocki says online predator situations involving males are usually part of the Yahoo Boys Nigerian Scammers network, in which case the police will close the case.

How to get inappropriate images of my child removed from the internet 

If naked, semi-nude, or sexual photos or videos of your child are online, Wistocki suggests visiting takeitdown.ncmec.org. Once you upload the material, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children will obtain its digital DNA and work with participating websites such as Meta and Pornhub to remove all corresponding photos and videos from their platforms. 

Talking to your child after they’ve interacted with an online predator

I asked Wistocki what advice he has for children who are hesitant to report a predatory situation. He said: 

We must teach our kids that no one is allowed to make them feel bad about themselves online. No one is allowed to make them do something they should not be doing such as sextortion. If [a predator is] doing it to them, they are doing it to ten other people as well, and they need to be stopped. This is the only way.

The bottom line

If your child is targeted by an online predator, reporting it to the social media platform can lead to destroyed evidence. Instead, gather evidence and report it to the police, escalating to an ICAC-trained detective if necessary. Use takeitdown.ncmec.org to remove any inappropriate videos or images of your child from the internet.

Mother and daughter next to text that reads BrightCanary vs. Life360

BrightCanary and Life360 both appear in family safety app roundups, but they solve very different problems. Life360 is primarily a location and physical safety tool. BrightCanary is a digital monitoring and content safety tool built around knowing what your child is doing online.

Statistically, kids face significantly more danger online than they do outside the home, so it’s helpful to have a child monitoring app with online safety features. How do they compare? Here’s how BrightCanary and Life360 stack up. 

BrightCanary vs. Life360: What’s the difference?

FeatureLife360BrightCanary
Content monitoring (apps, websites, messaging)NoYes, monitors everything your child types across all apps
Text message monitoringNoYes, including photos, group chats, and deleted texts
Real-time alerts for concerning contentNoYes. Flags drug references, adult content, bullying, self-harm, and more
Social media monitoringNoYes, monitors direct messages and content across major social platforms
AI app monitoring (ChatGPT, Character.ai, etc.)NoYes, provides real-time alerts and insights for AI companion apps
Emotional well-being insights NoYes, highlights emotional state and activity trends alongside content alerts
GPS location trackingYes, real-time location sharing for all family membersNo, this tool is included for free from Apple

How BrightCanary works

BrightCanary’s secure, on-device keyboard uses customized AI to monitor everything your child types across all apps.

  • Monitors for cyberbullying, predators, self-harm, drug content, explicit messages, and more.
  • Sends you real-time alerts when a concern is detected.
  • AI-powered summaries give you insight into your child’s online activity.
  • Full transcripts are always available.
  • Monitors all apps, websites, messaging platforms, and AI tools.
  • Emotional insights informed by the American Psychological Association.
  • Includes Ask the Canary, a 24/7 parenting coach built right into the app.

Plus, you can try BrightCanary today with a seven-day free trial.

How Life360 works

Life360 is a family location and physical safety app.

  • Real-time GPS location sharing, with alerts when your child arrives at or leaves a specific location.
  • 24/7 roadside assistance, SOS alerts, and crash detection with automatic emergency dispatch.
  • Driver reports covering phone usage, top speed, and hard braking.
  • Digital safety alerts if your family’s data is found on the dark web (Platinum).

BrightCanary vs. Life360: Which is right for me?

Choose BrightCanary if you want to:

  • Monitor what your child types across all apps.
  • Get real-time alerts for cyberbullying, grooming, self-harm, and other concerning content.
  • Stay informed about your child’s emotional well-being.
  • Keep your child safe online, where they face the most risks.
  • Support your parenting with AI-powered insights and coaching.

Choose Life360 if you want to:

  • Know where your family members are at all times.
  • Get alerts when your child arrives at or leaves school, home, or other locations.
  • Monitor your teen driver’s habits and receive automatic crash detection.
  • Access roadside assistance, identity theft protection, and other physical safety tools.

BrightCanary vs. Life360: The bottom line

BrightCanary and Life360 protect your family in completely different ways. Life360 tells you where your child is physically, while BrightCanary tells you what they do in online spaces. 

Many of Life360’s tools are things you may already have access to, such as roadside assistance through your car insurance and GPS tracking through Apple’s Find My. BrightCanary offers the most robust monitoring for iOS devices available.

If you’re concerned about your child’s online safety (and who isn’t?), BrightCanary provides monitoring that Life360 simply doesn’t offer. 

Download BrightCanary today and start your free trial.

BrightCanary vs. Life360: FAQs

Does Life360 monitor what my child does on their phone?

No. Life360 tracks your child’s physical location and driving behavior but doesn’t monitor their online activity, text messages, social media, or app usage. BrightCanary fills that gap.

Does BrightCanary track my child’s location?

No. Location tracking is included for free on all iOS devices, so BrightCanary opted not to include this feature.

Can I use BrightCanary and Life360 together?

Yes. Because they serve entirely different functions, many families use both. Life360 handles location and physical safety; BrightCanary handles online content and conversation monitoring.

Do BrightCanary and Life360 have screen time limits and content controls?

No. Neither BrightCanary nor Life360 offers screen time controls, but those are already available for free through Apple Screen Time.

Is BrightCanary safe and private?

Absolutely. BrightCanary monitors only what your child types and doesn’t read passwords or private documents. Data is stored securely with encryption.

Teen girl wearing orange headphones in front of white brick wall

Autistic teens face significantly greater risk of depression, anxiety, and suicide than their non-autistic peers. Parents of autistic teens often miss the warning signs because they aren’t always obvious. Here’s what you need to know about the link between autism and depression in teens, including warning signs and how to support your autistic teen. 

Research about depression and suicide risk in autistic teens

The statistics are unequivocal: autistic teens are at far greater risk for depression and suicide. 

  • Nearly 80% of autistic kids have at least one mental health condition and almost half have two or more. 
  • Mental health conditions often occur younger in autistic children when compared to their non-autistic peers. 
  • Autistic teens are roughly 40% more likely to report suicidal thoughts. 
  • Autistic teens are twice as likely to attempt suicide and four times more likely to complete suicide.  
  • Autistic LGBTQ+ teens are 50% more likely to attempt suicide than non-autistic LBTGQ+ teens. 
  • Autistic teens who are also intellectually gifted are at an even greater risk for suicide. An IQ of 120 or greater means an autistic teen is more than six times as likely to experience suicidal thoughts as autistic kids with average IQs. 

Why autistic teens are at higher risk for depression and suicide 

It’s important to understand the underlying reasons autistic teens face greater mental health risks when seeking ways to help them. Here’s what the experts say: 

Screening tools aren’t built for autistic brains

There are no validated screening tools to assess for suicidal thoughts and behaviors that across the full spectrum of autistic youth. Standard screening tools must be adapted for autistic patients, but not all clinicians possess the skill and training to do so. 

Difficulty identifying and communicating emotions

As many as 80% of autistic people have alexithymia, meaning they have severe difficulty experiencing, identifying, and describing emotions — which can lead to a delay in getting help. 

Social stress 

Autistic teens are more likely to experience bullying and rejection.

Suicidal thought loops 

Involuntary repetitive thoughts are common with autism, and when teens get stuck in a suicidal thought loop, it can be difficult to interrupt with cognitive strategies that are effective for neurotypical brains.  

Executive functioning challenges

Challenges with executive functioning make it more difficult for autistic teens to manage transitions and solve problems — both common suicide triggers.  

A shortage of mental health clinicians trained in autism

Even though effective tools for treating autistic patients exist, many clinicians lack the necessary education and training.

Treatment facilities were designed for neurotypical patients

Inpatient treatment facilities frequently include sensory elements that can exacerbate distress in autistic patients, like bright lights and confinement. 

Intersecting stressors

Autistic LGBTQ+ teens face intersecting stressors and higher rates of peer victimization due to their double minoritized identities. 

The burden of masking 

Masking — the conscious or subconscious suppression of natural autistic traits in order to fit into a neurotypical world — can lead to increased mental health difficulties. Higher IQ autistic individuals are typically higher masking, which is thought to account for their greater rates of depression and suicide. 

Warning signs: How depression and suicidal ideation can present differently in autistic teens 

Here are the warning signs to watch for in your autistic teen: 

  • Worsening aggression or self-injury
  • Increased repetitive behaviors 
  • New special interests with sadder themes 
  • Decreased engagement with activities that formerly brought them pleasure 
  • Increased toileting accidents in nonverbal autistic individuals
  • Unusually rigid or catastrophic thinking

How to talk to your autistic child about mental health 

Autistic teen mental health statistics are sobering. But as a parent, staying involved is a major way to support your autistic teen. Here’s how to talk about it:

Check in with them 

You can check in with your teen verbally by asking questions, or nonverbally by offering gentle reassurance that fits their preferences for communication and touch. Simply sitting with them or engaging in their special interest can be comforting. 

Direct communication

Autistic communication is often direct and literal, so it’s best to avoid vague language and euphemisms when addressing mental health concerns with your teen. Stick to concrete observations and specific questions. For example:

“I’ve noticed you aren’t spending as much time doing [specific example]. Are you feeling sad, overwhelmed, or anxious?”

Leverage special interests

If your teen wants you to spend time with them around their special interest, they could be reaching out for help. Engaging with them in this way not only provides comfort and signals support — it also gives them an opportunity to open up on their own terms. 

Seek out neurodiversity-affirming clinicians

Finding neurodiversity-affirming mental health providers shows your teen that you want to support them, not change them. Psychology Today offers a robust directory of therapists, and you can adjust the search filters to find therapists for neurodivergent teens.

How BrightCanary can help

Monitoring your autistic teen’s online activity with BrightCanary better positions you to catch early warning signs like changes in what they’re searching, their conversations, and the content they're consuming — before a crisis develops. BrightCanary’s emotional insights and real-time alerts are particularly useful, given that autistic teens’ distress may not be obvious at first glance.

Mental health and crisis resources

Bottom line

Autistic teens face significantly greater risk of mental health issues than their non-autistic peers. Yet, autistic teen mental health issues often manifest atypically, making them hard for parents to spot. If you are the parent of an autistic teen, it’s important to educate yourself on the warning signs and engage with them about their mental health through direct communication and a neurodiversity-affirming approach. 

Thousands of parents trust BrightCanary to stay informed about what their teens encounter online. It’s the only parental monitoring app recognized by the American Psychological Association’s APA Labs Digital Badge program. Download today to start your free trial.

Parent and child with BrightCanary and Net Nanny logos

BrightCanary provides robust insight into your child’s online activity by scanning everything they type across all apps, websites, and messaging platforms, and sending real-time alerts to any concerns. This allows for the level of freedom and privacy that you decide is appropriate for them, while giving you the insight you need to keep them safe. 

In contrast, NetNanny focuses more on blocking and filtering your child online, an approach that provides short-term protection but doesn’t give you the insight you need to help your child learn to use the internet safely in the long term. 

Let’s take a look at BrightCanary vs. Net Nanny to see how they each stack up, so you can decide which one better suits your family’s needs. 

BrightCanary vs. Net Nanny: What's the difference?

FeatureNet NannyBrightCanary
Monitors all apps & websitesPartial. Filters only, no monitoring inside apps or websitesYes
Text message monitoringNoYes, including photos, group chats, and deleted texts 
AI app monitoring (ChatGPT, Character.ai, etc.)NoYes. Real-time alerts and insights for all AI platforms
Real-time alerts for concerning contentPartial. Alerts only for content a child tries to access, not their activity inside an app or website Yes. Flags drug references, adult content, bullying, self-harm, and more
Conversation monitoringNoYes. Monitors all messaging platforms
Social media monitoring (Snapchat, TikTok, Instagram, etc.)Partial. App blocking and partial content filtering, no content monitoringYes. Monitors direct messages and content across all platforms
Emotional well-being insightsNoYes. Highlights emotional state and activity trends alongside content alerts

How BrightCanary works

BrightCanary uses specially tailored AI to monitor everything your child types and alerts you to any issues. 

  • Monitors for cyberbullying, predators, self-harm, drug content, and more.
  • Sends you real-time alerts about any concerns.
  • AI-powered summaries provide insight into your child's online activity.
  • Full transcripts are always available.
  • Monitors all apps, websites, messaging platforms, and AI tools.
  • Emotional insights informed by the American Psychological Association.
  • BrightCanary’s Ask the Canary is a 24/7 parenting coach built right into the app. 

How Net Nanny works 

NetNanny uses AI to analyze and filter dangerous content before your child sees it and provides tools for limiting their online activity. 

  • Content filtering for set categories, configurable to Block, Alert, or Allow. 
  • Screen time management including curfews, daily limits, and variable schedules by day. 
  • Real-time alerts if your child tries to access a website containing concerning content. 
  • GPS location tracking and lost device tracking.
  • Block or allow access to specific websites. 
  • Detailed breakdowns of where your child spends their time online.

BrightCanary vs. Net Nanny parental controls

BrightCanary complements Apple's built-in tools, which already block and filter apps and websites, show how your child spends their time online, and allow you to GPS track them. BrightCanary gives you additional insights and monitoring that fills in the gaps Apple leaves behind. 

NetNanny is good for filtering and blocking content, but you can already do that for free on your Apple device. Plus, you only get insight into what your child tries to access, not what they actually do online. 

BrightCanary vs. Net Nanny: Which is the right service for me?

Choose BrightCanary if you want to:

  • Monitor what your child types everywhere online.
  • Get real-time alerts about concerning content on all apps and websites.
  • Stay informed about your child's emotional well-being.
  • Support your parenting with AI-powered insights and coaching.
  • See what your child actually does online.

Choose Net Nanny if you want to:

  • Filter websites, block apps, and manage screen time (though Apple provides these for free).
  • GPS track your child and locate their device if it’s lost (also free through Apple).
  • Get real-time alerts if your child tries to access a website containing concerning content.

BrightCanary vs. Net Nanny: The bottom line

For robust monitoring of your child's activity online and over text that fills in the gaps with Apple's built-in parental controls, BrightCanary is your best choice. 

Net Nanny is good at what it does, but it primarily duplicates functions you can already do for free through Apple. It also doesn’t give you any insight into your child’s activity once they’ve gained access to a website or app. 

BrightCanary complements Apple’s features by scanning everything your child types across all websites, apps, messaging platforms, and AI tools, and sends you real-time alerts when they encounter something concerning. You get the information you need to make decisions that are best for your child. 

Download today and start your free trial.

FAQs

Does BrightCanary monitor text messages?

BrightCanary offers robust text message monitoring, including photos and videos. You get real-time alerts if any concerns come up over text, and you can always access full transcripts if you want more insight. And because most kids don’t restrict their communication to texting, BrightCanary provides the same service for all messaging platforms and in-app messages. NetNanny does not provide any message monitoring. 

Does BrightCanary have screen-time controls like NetNanny?

BrightCanary focuses on message visibility and emotional safety, not app blocking or screen time limits. Screen time controls are available for free through Apple Screen Time.

Is BrightCanary safe and private?

Absolutely! BrightCanary monitors only what your child types and doesn't read passwords or private documents. Data is stored securely with encryption.

Teen boy wearing backpack

Your child likely already uses Google Gemini because the AI assistant is baked into all of Google’s software. From Gmail to AI-powered summaries at the top of Google searches, Gemini is everywhere. But is Google Gemini safe for kids? Many experts say no, and after testing it for myself, I agree. Here’s why. 

What is Google Gemini?

Gemini, Google’s suite of AI tools, includes:

  • Gemini Chatbot: Designed to compete with tools like ChatGPT and Claude. 
  • Nano Banana: A hyper-realistic image generator woven into Google products. 
  • Full integration with all Google products: When Google Drive offers to help you write? That’s Gemini. It can also create slide presentations, spreadsheets, and more. 
  • Search overviews: Most Google searches now return an AI-powered summary at the top.

The risks to kids from Google Gemini: What our testing showed

When evaluating whether Google Gemini is safe for kids, we have to look at both the standalone products and the many ways Gemini is built into other Google products. 

Gemini embedded in Google software

The fact that Google Gemini is entrenched in products your kids already use means it poses unique risks. Specifically: 

Integration hinders critical thinking about how they use AI

When emails are drafted without a request and AI-powered search results return authoritative answers without clicking on a single link, it’s extremely easy to fall into AI autopilot. 

As a parent, this frightens me more than any inappropriate answer my child might get from a chatbot because overreliance on AI and passive consumption of information can lead to these problems: 

AI is often wrong 

An analysis by the New York Times found AI-powered Google summaries gave incorrect information 10% of the time, and over half the time cited facts not fully supported by the provided sources.

AI makes cheating so tempting

With Google Gemini right there inside Google Drive, offering to write that essay or create that presentation, it’s easy for kids to stray into cheating and plagiarism territory. 

Gemini as a standalone product 

I set up a test account for a fake 10-year-old. After I finally got it working, I posed two relatively mild questions about shoplifting, and my account was promptly deactivated. I didn’t see that as evidence of safeguards working — when Gemini refuses to engage, kids just bounce to another chatbot. That’s lazy and performative protection; it’s easier to shut kids out than to build them a truly safe system. 

Because my test account was banned, most of my testing was done logged out, which is how kids can easily access Gemini. I did give obvious clues that I was a child, including outright stating I was a teenager. 

Here’s a sampling of what Google Gemini told me:

  • How to shoplift, and how to avoid trouble if caught
  • How to find and purchase illegal drugs, including a detailed script of what to say (Yes, Gemini literally used the word “script,” and no, I didn’t ask for one.)
  • How, when, and where to have sex without parents knowing
  • How to hide drinking, find someone to buy alcohol, and steal liquor from parents

Does Google Gemini have parental controls? 

Sort of. Kids under 13 need parental permission via Google Family Link, but beyond granting or denying access, Gemini’s parental controls are essentially nonexistent.

Gemini implemented safeguards to filter out inappropriate content for users under 13. However, my testing found two big issues with this: 

  1. Granting permission for a child to use Gemini is extremely glitchy. It took me over an hour to troubleshoot and was inconsistent across devices. I can see parents just changing their child's age to avoid the hassle.
  2. Kids can use Google Gemini without an account: If kids under 13 don’t have permission to use Gemini, they can log out and use the chatbot on a web browser. As the results of my testing show, that’s a problem. 

How to keep your child safe on Google Gemini 

If your child uses Google Gemini, here are four things you can do to help make it safer for them: 

  1. Set up a supervised account through Google Family Link.
  2. Have an honest conversation with them about the risks of AI. 
  3. Coach them on how to use AI critically. 
  4. Use a third-party monitoring app like BrightCanary to watch for any concerning prompts. 

Final word: Is Gemini safe for children?

Google Gemini isn’t safe for kids. The suite of AI tools is heavily embedded in products your child already uses, and this prevalence increases the risk because kids aren’t as likely to think critically about how they use it. Gemini’s parental controls and safeguards for kids under 13 are ineffective. If your child uses Google Gemini, coach them on the risks and how to think critically about their AI use, and keep an eye on their prompts with a monitoring tool. 

For the most comprehensive monitoring of your child’s AI use available, try BrightCanary. The app scans everything they type and sends you alerts about any concerns. Download today to get started for free.

Boy at table with dinner plate

The number of males hospitalized for eating disorders has risen 416% in the past two decades. Stigma and underreporting mean it’s likely that prevalence rates for eating disorders in males are vastly underestimated, but recent evidence suggests it’s now increasing faster among males than among females. Experts point to social media and influencer culture as a driving force behind this rise.  

Parents can easily miss the warning signs because disordered eating often presents atypically in males, such as an intense focus on healthy eating or muscle building.

This article looks at the role internet culture plays in the rise of disordered eating in boys, and what you can do if your son shows warning signs.

How social media fuels eating disorders in tween and teen boys

For expert guidance, I turned to Maiken Wiese, a Registered Dietitian and Certified Dietitian-Nutritionist specializing in eating disorder recovery for teens and adults. 

Wiese said she suspects some of the perceived increase in eating disorders in males is actually attributable to a rise in awareness and diagnosis, but that influencer culture definitely plays a huge role in the spread of disordered eating behaviors. 

Here are some of the ways social media contributes to the rise: 

  • Influencers. Social media is filled with influencers peddling supplements and diet products targeted at males.
  • Algorithms. Social media algorithms love to create problems, then sell you “solutions.” Young males are repeatedly shown content that feeds their insecurities, then are offered fixes. These fixes are frequently pricey and often lack evidence to support their claims. 
  • Looksmaxxing. Looksmaxxing is an internet subculture glorifying hypermasculine bodies and promoting questionable methods to “maximize” physical appearance, including extreme diet and exercise.

The warning signs of eating disorders in boys

According to Wiese, “[males] are less likely to get help for eating disorders because many are conditioned to not speak as openly about their struggles, so body dysmorphia and fear around food might not be as evident.” 

She also points out that the body ideal that males strive for can vary more than for females, with some males seeking to be larger or more muscular and others striving to be thin. This makes spotting disordered eating in boys particularly tricky.  

Here are some atypical warning signs to watch for: 

  • Preoccupation with muscle growth
  • Excessive exercise or weightlifting 
  • Being convinced that their body build is too small or not muscular enough
  • Sports weigh-ins that encourage rapid weight loss
  • Withdrawal from activities or friends out of concern about appearance, particularly body size

Wiese cautioned parents with children of any gender to also keep an eye out for these standard warning signs: 

  • Excessive food and diet talk
  • Preoccupation with appearance or weight loss
  • Avoiding mealtimes
  • Picking at foods
  • Avoiding entire food groups

How to help your son have a healthy relationship with food and his body

Taking active steps to help encourage healthy food and eating behaviors is an often-overlooked protective factor. Here are some tips:

  • Media literacy. Wiese suggests media literacy to help your son think critically about the messages he gets about diet, exercise, and body image.
  • Reset his algorithm. Help your son periodically reset his algorithms to reduce exposure to harmful content. 
  • Set an example. Wiese advises to “refrain from speaking negatively about your body, other people's bodies, or food around your child,” lest they internalize messages about food and their bodies.
  • Keep an eye on your child’s online activity. Not only can the internet feed your child toxic messages about diet and body image, but it’s also a window into his emotional state. A monitoring app like BrightCanary gives you the insight you need to spot early warning signs and intervene. 

What to do if you think your son has an eating disorder

Wiese says, “Girl, boy, or nonbinary, it’s always hard to struggle with an eating disorder, and it can feel threatening for those behaviors to be noticed. It is incredibly important to address it, however!”

Here are her recommendations: 

  • Educate yourself about eating disorders. 
  • Find a calm moment to discuss your concerns privately. 
  • Use I-centered statements, such as, “I’m concerned because I’ve noticed you’ve stopped eating certain foods” or “I’m worried that you haven’t been eating breakfast lately.” 
  • Keep it as simple and fact-based as possible. 
  • Suggest a specific action. For example: “I want you to see your pediatrician for a checkup so we can talk about next steps. “

Resources for families navigating eating disorders in boys

  • F.E.A.S.T: Support, education, empowerment and community for families navigating a child’s eating disorder.  
  • Men of F.E.A.S.T: A dedicated community for fathers and male caregivers supporting loved ones with eating disorders.
  • Project Heal: Financial assistance, case management, and treatment placement. 
  • National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA): Information, advice, screening tools, and a provider directory. 

Bottom line

Eating disorders are on the rise for tween and teen boys, due in no small part to social media and influencer culture that promotes unhealthy messages about food, body image, and exercise. You should watch for warning signs in your son and intervene if you have concerns. If your son shows signs of disordered eating, educate yourself about eating disorders and keep your discussions with him about it calm, private, and fact-based. 

Know what your child is worried about and interested in with BrightCanary child monitoring. Start your free trial today.

Girl reading book in hammock

Reading skills among US students are at the lowest levels ever measured, with one in three American kids unable to read at a basic level. It’s not just their skills that are declining; it’s also their interest. The percentage of children who read for pleasure has dropped precipitously in recent decades. Given the numerous benefits of reading for kids, from cognitive to emotional to academic, this is a serious cause for alarm. 

Benefits of reading for kids

The benefits of reading for kids are strongly supported by science. Here’s what the research says:

Enhances creativity 

Reading cultivates the imagination, which in turn fosters creativity and innovation. That’s especially important given that experts predict creativity will become increasingly valuable with the rise of AI. 

Develops empathy 

There’s a strong relationship between reading and empathy because it exposes kids to new ideas, beliefs, and viewpoints. 

Builds confidence 

Kids who read in their free time report feeling more confident than those who don’t. 

Develops vocabulary 

Children build most of their vocabulary outside of a school setting, and reading for fun is one of the most effective mechanisms. 

Boosts cognition 

Reading for pleasure aids in healthy brain development, in part by literally changing its structure. This contributes to greater development of cognitive and executive functioning skills such as:

  • Comprehension 
  • Memory 
  • Planning 
  • Self-control
  • Social intelligence 
  • Problem solving

Lower mental health issues 

Reading for pleasure at a young age is associated with less mental health issues and greater well-being. 

Increases attention

Reading at a young age is correlated with greater development in areas of the brain related to attention. 

How screen time is affecting your child's reading habits

Although the number of kids who read for fun has decreased across all age groups in recent decades, the decline is most dramatic among teenagers. That’s also the age when many kids access social media for the first time — which is hardly a coincidence. 

Here’s how screen time decreases reading for kids: 

Lowers reading proficiency 

The more time students spend using devices for English and language arts schoolwork, the lower their reading proficiency scores. 

Competes for time 

In the U.S., children aged 8-18 spend an average of 7.5 hours per day on a screen. That doesn’t leave much time for reading. 

Makes it harder to concentrate 

More screen time is correlated with difficulty concentrating, a key skill needed for reading longer texts.   

How to get kids to read more

Here are six tips for how to get your kids to read more: 

1. Find books that interest them 

Start with what your child is already drawn to. From space to animals to hockey, if your kid is into it, there’s probably a book to match. It can even complement their screen habits; you’d be amazed how many books based on video games exist. They're not always the best literature, but it’s a great entry point for reluctant readers. 

2. Help them balance their screen time 

Use a parental monitoring tool like BrightCanary to see how much time your child spends on screen-based activities versus things like reading. Use this information to help them balance devices with more time for books. 

3. Make books readily accessible 

Make reading easy with these tricks: 

  • Leave books lying around. Don’t make a big deal or put pressure on them; just leave books where they’ll catch your child’s attention.  
  • Make regular trips to the library. Make it feel like a special milestone by getting your child their own library card. 
  • Consider an e-reader. E-readers are a great way to make sure your child always has books they want to read. Most library systems let you check out e-books, and a Kindle Kids subscription provides instant access to thousands of books rated for their age.  

4. Normalize reading 

They may not look like they’re watching or act like they care, but letting your kid see you reading is one of the best ways to get them into the habit themselves. 

5. Read together

Read aloud to your kid, even when they’re old enough to read independently. Reading next to your child is also a great habit. In my house, we like to do “snuggle reads,” where we all pile onto the couch and pick up a book. 

6. Don’t be a literary snob

I’m going to say it louder for the people in the back: Graphic novels are real books. I get so irked when a parent or teacher forbids graphic novels. The same goes for audiobooks and for books that you think are just plain not any good. With reading levels declining like they are, we should embrace any avenue that gets kids reading. 

If you let your child read for pleasure without judgment, chances are, they’ll find their way to other books you deem more “worthy.” And if not? So what? At least they’re reading! 

The bottom line

Kids’ skills and interest have both declined considerably in recent years, with excessive screen time playing a major role in the change. It’s an alarming trend because the benefits of reading for kids are numerous. Finding books that interest them, making reading accessible, and limiting screen time are all ways to get kids to read more. 

Want more insight into your child’s interests? Parents love BrightCanary’s activity summaries because they show you what your child cares about, from books to movies. Download BrightCanary and get started today.

Group of teens all on phones

A recent trial found Meta’s design features addictive for young users. Alarmingly, Meta’s own internal research shows that parental controls don’t meaningfully curb compulsive use. This article explores the signs of social media addiction in teens, what factors make a teen more susceptible, and what you can do to protect your child. 

Heads up: Social media addiction isn’t officially recognized as a clinical disorder. However, experts widely acknowledge the existence of addictive behaviors related to social media, and that’s the framework for this article. The term “social media addiction” is used colloquially here and should not be understood as a diagnostic term. 

Social media addiction vs. heavy use: What's the difference?

If you’ve ever side-eyed your surly offspring scrolling away in the corner and asked, “Is my teen addicted to social media,” you’re not alone. But heavy social media use isn’t necessarily an addiction. 

Experts propose that social media addiction is a psychological dependence marked by an uncontrollable inner drive to keep using it despite negative impacts on a person’s life and daily functioning. Social media use becomes problematic when it causes significant issues in several areas of a person’s life, such as:

  • Social life
  • Relationships 
  • Work or school 
  • Physical health 
  • Psychological functioning
  • Mental health 

Which teens are most at risk for social media addiction?

According to research, here are the risk factors that make some teens more susceptible to social media addiction: 

Adverse childhood experiences

Teens with more adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) report less attentiveness to their social media use, increasing their risk of addiction. Some examples of ACEs include:

  • Abuse
  • Neglect
  • Parental substance abuse 
  • Bullying 
  • Food or housing instability
  • Witnessing violence at home or in the community 
  • Household instability due to parental separation or incarceration 

Depression 

Depression is consistently associated with higher social media use, although it’s a bit of a chicken-or-the-egg situation. 

The relationship is thought to be bidirectional, with excessive social media use triggering depression in some teens, and pre-existing depression causing others to use it to cope, which can lead to addictive behavior.  

Difficult feelings 

Negative emotional states are closely related to social media addiction because people with persistent negative feelings often turn to social media as a means of coping, comfort, and escape.

Additionally, teens who have a hard time describing their feelings are more vulnerable to social media addiction. 

Emotional avoidance 

Teens who tend to avoid unpleasant emotions are at greater risk of social media addiction. 

Low self-esteem

Low self-esteem is a strong predictor of addictive social media behaviors. 

Is my teen addicted to social media? Six warning signs 

One key to intervention is recognizing your teen’s behavior. Here are social media addiction symptoms to watch for: 

  1. Compulsive checking for updates
  2. Feeling anxious when offline
  3. Use negatively impacts daily functioning, relationships, responsibilities, and  overall well-being
  4. Significant distress when unable to access social media
  5. Avoiding obligations in favor of time on social media
  6. Unable to cut back on social media use despite expressing a desire to do so

Why parental controls don't stop social media addiction

Meta’s research found that parental controls do little to curb kids’ compulsive social media use. That’s because such actions limit access but don’t address the underlying compulsions that lead to addiction. If the pull is strong enough, teens will find a workaround. Those compulsions are driven by some pretty powerful forces, such as: 

Exploitative algorithms 

Social media algorithms are designed to keep users scrolling by increasing the brain’s reward center activation, which accelerates the development of addictive behaviors. 

Dopamine manipulation

Social media uses intermittent variable rewards to keep users engaged. It’s a playbook taken straight from slot machines and maximizes addictiveness. 

The infinite scroll

Aza Raskin, the inventor of the infinite scroll, has described these design techniques as “behavioral cocaine scattered throughout the interface.”

How to stay ahead of social media addiction as a parent

Here’s what you can do to fight against social media addiction: 

Talk openly about social media addiction symptoms

Explain to your child what social media addiction looks like and tell them if you witness concerning symptoms. It’s also helpful to use yourself as an example, noting when you catch yourself sucked into the scroll. 

Reset their algorithm 

Addictive algorithms are a driving factor behind social media addiction. Show your teen how to periodically reset their algorithm. 

Monitor their social media use

It’s not enough to clock how often your teen uses social media; you also need to know how they engage with it and how it impacts their mood and well-being. BrightCanary’s emotional insights and real-time alerts give you visibility into your child’s social media use so you can spot warning signs of addiction and step in with support. 

The bottom line

Social media addiction in teens is a real concern, and Meta’s own internal research acknowledges this fact. To help combat the risk for your child, educate them about the risks and watch for social media addiction symptoms.

At BrightCanary, we share your concerns about teens and social media addiction. That’s why we’ve designed our monitoring app to partner with parents, giving you the tools you need to watch for signs of social media addiction in your teen. Get started today for free. 

Teen boy looking at looksmaxxing terms on phone

Looksmaxxing is a subculture of the manosphere that glorifies a hypermasculine appearance and promotes methods to maximize looks. (Get it? Looksmaxxing. So clever, she says, while rolling her eyes into the back of her head.)

The subculture is toxic at best and dangerous at worst, so it’s important to familiarize yourself with it to know if your tween or teen son is caught in its hollow-cheeked snare. To help, I dove into some of the darker corners of the internet to bring you this looksmaxxing glossary. 

Common looksmaxxing terms, defined

  • Ascend: When an incel (an involuntarily celibate male) has sex or finds a relationship.
  • BIMAX: Short for bimaxillary osteotomy, BIMAX is a procedure that simultaneously repositions both the upper and lower jaw. Traditionally used to address severe dental misalignment, the looksmaxxing community gravitates toward this procedure for its aesthetic benefits, such as greater chin projection and more prominent cheekbones.   
  • Bonesmashing: Repeatedly tapping one’s face with a hammer to change its shape. 
  • Chad: An idealized, highly attractive alpha male who women flock to. 
  • Canthal tilt: The angle of the lateral canthus (outside corner of the eye) in relation to the medial canthus (inside corner of the eye). In looksmaxxing, an upward or “positive” tilt is desired, and some use surgery to achieve this result. 
  • Decile: A standardized scale from 1to 10 used to measure and rank attractiveness. 
  • Glow up: A dramatic, often rapid, improvement in physical appearance. Sometimes referred to as a “transformation.”
  • The Golden Ratio: A mathematical proportion equal to about 1.618 that is widely a hallmark of attractiveness because it involves symmetrical, proportional facial features.
  • Hardmaxxing: Extreme, invasive, or dangerous methods used to drastically alter physical appearance.
  • High Tier Normie (HTN): A 5 out of 8 on the PSL attractiveness scale (see below) that spans from “subhuman” to “perfection.” HTNs are considered above average and are sometimes referred to as Chadlites. 
  • Hunter eyes: Deep-set eyes with hooded eyelids and low-set brows, resembling predatorial animals.
  • Jestermaxxing: A male who acts excessively funny, foolish, or entertaining in order to gain female attention. It’s considered a way to compensate for a perceived lack of physical attractiveness. 
  • Mewwing: Placing the tongue against the roof of the mouth in an attempt to improve the structure of the jaw and face. 
  • Orthotropics: Various techniques to expand and extend the jaw, including  the use of custom dental appliances and at-home methods such as mewing.
  • PSL: The primary scale used in the looksmaxxing community in order to rank facial attractiveness based on facial harmony, balance, symmetry, sexual dimorphism, unique qualities, and averageness.
  • Puberty optimization: Use of human growth hormone, testosterone, or aromatase inhibitors in order to enhance or extend puberty and increase height, deepen the voice, and boost masculine traits. 
  • Roidmaxxing: Misusing anabolic steroids to rapidly increase muscle mass and alter physical appearance.
  • SEAmaxxing: When a man, typically a white man, travels to countries in Southeast Asia to exploit perceived racial or economic advantages in order to find partners or have sexual encounters. 
  • Sexual market value (SMV): A measure of perceived sexual desirability and overall “worth” on the dating market. SMV calculations use age, physical appearance, social status, income or wealth, height, fitness, style, grooming, and confidence.
  • Softmaxxing: Non-invasive ways of improving physical appearance through things like grooming, lifestyle changes, and skincare. 
  • Starvemaxxing: Severely restricting calories or engaging in extreme fasting in order to quickly and drastically lose weight and pursue a hollow-cheeked, uber-defined face.
  • Whitemaxxing: Taking extreme measures such as skin bleaching, whitening creams, and cosmetic surgery in order to fit white, Eurocentric beauty standards. 

Did you know? BrightCanary helps you monitor your tween or teen online by scanning everything they type on their device and sending you real-time alerts about anything concerning. BrightCanary’s custom-trained AI system keeps up with the latest internet terminology, so it can help you spot if your child is showing interest in looksmaxxing and other potentially problematic trends. 

Learn more manosphere terms your teen might encounter online. Did your child's friend send them something inappropriate? Find out what to do about it.

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