As a Boy Mom, writing about looksmaxxing is personal. My tween currently prioritizes comfort (nothing but sweatpants!) and convenience (haircuts are a chore!) over aesthetics. But as he speeds toward middle school, I know that’s bound to change.
Just as my generation of girls absorbed harmful pressure about looks from magazines like Seventeen and CosmoGirl, social media has burst the protective bubble boys once existed inside. Adolescent males are now inundated with toxic ideals — and looksmaxxing is one of the more alarming ones. It’s enough to convince me to delay social media for my son as long as possible.
Here’s everything you need to know about looksmaxxing.
Looksmaxxing is a manosphere-adjacent subculture glorifying hypermasculine male bodies and promoting (frequently dubious) methods to maximize physical appearance.
“Scores” are assigned to physical aspects, often in pursuit of biologically impossible standards. Some of the physical characteristics sought after in looksmaxxing include:
Looksmaxxers will go to varying lengths to achieve their goals, from routine hygiene and fitness (softmaxxing) to invasive and potentially dangerous tactics (hardmaxxing).
Looksmaxxing is entirely a byproduct of internet culture. It originated on incel message boards in the 2010s and was popularized in the 2020s as part of the broader TikTok “glow-up” trend.
Now, dangerous social media algorithms feed looksmaxxing content to young males, and forums such as Reddit and Discord give young men the means to dive deep into the weeds.
In my opinion, here are the top three looksmaxxing dangers you need to know:
Many looksmaxxing techniques overlap with disordered eating behaviors, particularly rigidity around numbers. However, these behaviors are often masked by an atypical presentation, such as muscle bulking and over-exercising.
Not coincidentally, the past two decades have seen a 416% increase in boys hospitalized for eating disorders.
Looksmaxxing promotes a narrow, misogynistic picture of masculinity, telling males they must take extreme measures to make themselves attractive to women before they’re considered a “real man.”
Looksmaxxing rating systems are built on Eurocentric ideals, and many traits coveted by the movement, like fair skin and symmetrical features, are associated with whiteness.
Raters disguise racist sentiments as pseudo-science by using technical terms to describe traits commonly associated with non-white people, like “recessed palate” or “protruding upper third.”
Since my daughter was very young, I’ve worked to counterprogram societal messaging that her worth is in her looks. Looksmaxxing is a good reminder that our boys need this, too. Be overt and make it an ongoing conversation.
To offset the Eurocentric, ableist, fatphobic ideals looksmaxxing promotes, expose your son to racially and physically diverse people, in media and in real life. Help him identify successful men who don’t fit traditional male beauty standards.
Involving male figures in the conversation will help him feel less alone. Ask the men in his life to tell him about their experiences with body image growing up.
Get that toxic nonsense off his feed! Show your son how to regularly reset his social media and YouTube algorithms for a healthier online experience.
Keep an eye on what your son does and says online so you can watch for looksmaxxing red flags. BrightCanary can help by monitoring everything your son types across all platforms and watches on YouTube.
If your son shows signs of mental health issues or disordered eating, seek professional help right away. Here are some resources:
Looksmaxxing is a dangerous social media trend promoting toxic and unhealthy standards for men. To protect your son, intentionally counterprogram looksmaxxing messaging, monitor his online activity, and seek professional help if needed.
BrightCanary helps you monitor your child’s activity on the apps they use the most and alerts you to anything concerning, like messages about body image. You’ll also get insights into your child’s online activity and learn if they’re engaging with content about the manosphere and looksmaxxing. Download today to get started for free.
