Setting Boundaries: How to Create a Family Texting Contract

Teen girl texting on phone

Text messaging opens your child up to risks such as cyberbullying, sexting, and toxic group chats. But texting also brings plenty of positives, like increased connection with friends and the ability to stay in contact with you when you’re not with them. As you get ready to hand your child their new device, it’s useful to create a family texting contract with expectations on how they will behave with their new privileges. 

What is a family texting contract?

A family texting contract is an agreement between parents and children that establishes rules and expectations for text messaging. For instance, a rule might require your child to reply to your texts promptly when they're out of the house. 

While some parents might incorporate these rules into a broader digital device contract — which covers general device use, such as screen time limits and prohibited locations for phone use — a family texting contract specifically targets text messaging. Choose the option that best suits your family's needs.

How to decide rules in your family texting contract

When it comes to setting rules, the approach matters. Waiting to angrily impose a rule when you’re fed up with a behavior is less likely to be successful than if you set thoughtful expectations from the start and adjust as needed over time. It’s worth taking the time to create your family’s texting rules before your child starts texting. But if that ship has already sailed, it’s never too late to set new boundaries — just be prepared for an adjustment period as your child gets used to the new law of the land. 

Factors to consider 

Here are some things to consider as you decide what texting boundaries to set:

  • Your child’s relationship to technology: Is your kiddo the rare breed who couldn’t care less about screens, or do they have a hard time following existing screen time limits? Do they make responsible choices about what content to consume, or are you constantly finding them where they shouldn’t be on the internet? The harder it is for your child to regulate their own use of screens, the more support they’ll need from you in the form of texting guidelines. 
  • Your relationship to technology: Every parent has a different threshold for acceptable device use. Parents who are constantly on their own phones likely have a higher threshold for what’s okay than ones who use their phones more lightly. 
  • How your partner or co-parent feels: Texting rules will be more effective if everyone is on the same page. Work collaboratively with your child’s other parent to create expectations that work for you both. 

Involving your child in the process

You have the final say, but the more input your child has in deciding what goes on the family texting contract, the more buy in you’ll get. They also might surprise you with what they come up with. Explain why you think it’s important to set texting guidelines and ask them what they think should be included. 

Suggested rules and guidelines for a family texting contract 

Here are some ideas to get you started: 

  • Always reply to a parent’s texts as soon as possible.
  • Don’t reply to people you don’t know.
  • Don’t tap on unfamiliar links from unknown numbers (they could be scams or phishing attempts).
  • Avoid sharing personal information in texts, like passwords. 
  • Set your phone to “do not disturb” during homework time, in class, and before bed.
  • No texting at the dinner table. 
  • Allow parents to perform spot-checks of your phone to make sure you’re following the rules and watch for any safety concerns. 
  • Consent to the use of a text message monitoring app for iPhone like BrightCanary
  • Practice respectful texting etiquette

How to implement your family texting contract

Once you’ve decided your new texting rules, it’s time to put them in place. Here are some tips: 

  • Write them down: Put your rules in writing with a digital device contract (free download). Revise the contract as your child gets more phone privileges, such as social media accounts. 
  • Periodically evaluate the rules: After the new rules have been in place for a bit, sit down as a family and discuss what’s working and what’s not. Amend as needed. Adjustments can also be made as your child gets older to allow more freedom or when factors change, such as when they start driving (no texting behind the wheel!). 
  • Model healthy texting behavior: This one is perhaps the hardest, but also one of the most important elements of creating a family agreement for text messaging. While it’s reasonable for adults to behave differently when it comes to texting, it’s still important for you to model healthy behavior, such as putting the phone away during meals and before bed and not being constantly glued to your screen. Our children are watching (and learning) from our behavior. 

In short

Allowing your child to start texting is a big step. By thoughtfully implementing guidelines and behavior expectations, you will help them establish a healthy relationship to texting. 

As the digital world continues to become more integrated into our lives, it’s important for parents and guardians to set clear boundaries with children about their device use. By implementing a digital device contract, you can help ensure that your kids are using technology safely and responsibly. Setting expectations as a family will help kids develop healthy habits around technology usage, while also providing an opportunity for open dialogue about what kids encounter online.

How to create a digital device contract 

You can create your own from scratch, or use a customizable one — like our free Digital Device Contract Template.

When customizing the contract for your family, it’s important to provide clear guidelines on how devices should be used. Some of these guidelines may include: 

  • Setting time limits on how long they can spend online each day
  • Establishing rules around which websites they can visit or games they can play
  • Supervising what they message and search with a monitoring app like BrightCanary

It’s also important to discuss what types of content are appropriate for them to view or share online across videos, images and text messages. 

In addition to laying out specific rules regarding device usage, a digital device contract should also include consequences if those rules are not followed. For example, if your child goes over the agreed-upon time limit, then there could be restrictions placed on their access for the remainder of the day or week. You may also want to consider rewarding your child for following the rules, such as providing extra time if they have been particularly responsible in their device use. 

When to introduce a digital device contract 

The ideal moment to first introduce a digital device contract is when your child first gets his or her own phone or tablet. By putting together this document ahead of time, you can ensure that you both understand what is expected from the start. This will help avoid any confusion down the line and make sure that everyone knows exactly where they stand regarding usage rules and expectations. 

Another good time to introduce or update your existing digital device contract is when your family’s circumstances change (e.g., moving house, starting at a new school). This gives you an opportunity to review how things are going so far and make any necessary adjustments. It’s also a good way to reiterate the importance of responsible online behavior and make sure your child is following the rules.

Finally, any time that your child expresses a desire to explore new technologies — whether it’s social media, video streaming services, or something else — it can be useful to have a digital device contract in place to help them understand the consequences of their actions. This can also be a great time to sit down and have an open conversation about the potential dangers of these new technologies and how they should be used safely. 

5 mistakes to avoid when implementing a digital device contract


1. Talking about your kid’s online activity only when the contract is first implemented

Parents often make the mistake of thinking that talking to their kids about digital device contracts is a one-time conversation. But this type of dialogue should be an ongoing process throughout your child’s development as they learn how to safely and responsibly use technology.

It's important for parents to stay informed on the latest trends in online safety, such as popular phishing scams or major password breaches. That way, you can discuss these topics with your children in an age-appropriate manner. 

2. Not providing enough detail

It’s important for both parties to understand exactly what is expected from them, so that everyone knows where they stand if any issues arise later on down the line. Be sure to explain each rule clearly and provide examples if necessary. Give your child space to ask questions while you review the contract. 

3. Not including consequences or enforcement measures

Kids need to know that there are real repercussions for not following through with the terms of the agreement; otherwise, why bother making one at all? Make sure you outline clear consequences ahead of time and enforce them consistently when needed.

4. Not setting expectations for yourself as a parent

It's important to remember that you, as the parent, have a responsibility as well. Make sure you set realistic expectations for yourself: be diligent about monitoring your child’s online activity and checking in from time to time to make sure they are abiding by the contract. If there are any issues, be sure to address them immediately and take corrective action if needed. 

You also have the opportunity to lead by example; if your child agrees not to use their phone during meals, you should stay off your phone, too.

5. Not revisiting the terms of the contract

Lastly, don't forget to revisit the digital use contract periodically with your child as they grow and learn. As technology advances, so too will the risks associated with it; being aware of these changes can help you keep your child safe online.

By following these tips, you can help ensure that your conversation about digital device contracts goes smoothly and that everyone understands the expectations set out in the agreement. To get started customizing your own contract, download this free template

Teen girl using social media on phone

If it feels like the digital world your teen is navigating is changing faster than you can keep up, you’re not imagining it. While social media platforms may look largely the same on the surface, how teens are using them is shifting in important ways. 

Pew Research Center recently surveyed U.S. teens about their use of social media and AI. Social media use has mostly plateaued, but attitudes toward these platforms have become more negative. At the same time, use of AI chatbots has exploded, with many teens turning to AI not just for homework help, but for companionship and emotional support. 

That combination creates new risks for kids and challenges for parents. Here are the most important findings from Pew’s data, what’s changed, and what these trends mean for your child’s safety, mental health, and development.

Recent trends in teen social media use 

Aside from unsurprising downward shifts in Facebook and X use, and a slight uptick in TikTok and WhatsApp, teen engagement with social media hasn’t changed much. 

Declining: Facebook and X 

Social media OGs Facebook and X (formerly Twitter) continue to hemorrhage teen users. 

Facebook

  • Once upon a time, Facebook was the platform for teens; just a decade ago, 71% of teens were on the site.
  • Today, only three-in-ten teens use Facebook, on par with 2022 data. 

X (formerly Twitter)

  • In 2014-2015, 33% of teens used X.
  • In 2022, that number was down to 23%.
  • Today, only 16% of teens report using X.

Growing: WhatsApp and TikTok

The two platforms that stand out for growth among teen users are WhatsApp and TikTok.

WhatsApp

  • In 2022, only 17% of U.S. teens were on WhatsApp. 
  • Today, roughly one quarter of teens report using it.
  • The increase is concerning given the safety risks teens face on the app. 

TikTok

  • The number of overall teen TikTok users is relatively unchanged in recent years. 
  • Heavy users have increased, though; 21% of teens use TikTok “almost constantly,” up from 16% in 2022. 

Stable: Instagram, YouTube, and Snapchat

A majority of U.S. teens still use YouTube, Instagram, and Snapchat.

  • Instagram use remains stable at 63%.
  • 92% are on YouTube, consistent with recent years. 
  • 55% report being on Snapchat, with no change from 2024. 

Teen’s shifting attitudes toward social media 

How teens use social media hasn’t changed much lately, but research reveals that their attitudes about it are starting to shift.

  • Around 1 in 5 teens say social media negatively impacts their mental health
  • Nearly half (48%) feel social media negatively affects their peers, up from 32% in 2022.
  • 45% say they spend too much time on social media (a 9% increase from 2022). 
  • 44% have attempted to cut back on their social media use. 

Rising usage: Teens and AI chatbots 

For the first time, Pew included questions about AI chatbots and found that teens have taken to them like wildfire. This is alarming, considering that AI platforms frequently fail to deliver the safeguards they promise

  • 64% of teens say they’ve used an AI chatbot.
  • Nearly 3 in 10 report daily use. 
  • 16% say they use them almost constantly.
  • ChatGPT is the most popular AI chatbot among teens, at 59%, followed by Gemini (23%) and Meta AI (20%).

Concerning data: Teens and AI companions

Even more worrisome is how often teens use AI for companionship. For this, we also looked to a recent assessment by Common Sense Media

  • 75% of teens use AI for companionship, including emotional and mental health support.
  • Most popular chatbots fail to respond to red flags such as anxiety, depression, and eating disorders.
  • The empathetic tone of a chatbot can mislead teens into trusting it, creating the illusion of competent help while delaying real intervention. 

How can I help my teen navigate social media and AI safely? 

Social media and AI aren’t going anywhere (as much as some of us might wish). Both types of platforms are deeply intertwined with kids’ lives. It’s vital you’re proactive in helping your child maneuver these spaces. Here are my top four tips for keeping your teen safe on social media and AI: 

1. Digital literacy is key

Educate your child about the dangers of social media and AI. Teach them how to spot things like predators on social media, AI hallucinations, and signs of digital addiction. Your child is a partner on this journey, and the more they know, the more they can take an active role in their own health and safety. 

2. Set limits 

Decide when and how your child is allowed to use social media and AI, as well as what’s not okay. Be clear about expectations and consider writing them into a digital contract

3. Use parental controls 

Take advantage of the parental controls available on social media platforms, your child’s device, and AI chatbots. While these can be useful, know that they aren’t perfect and should not be your only safeguard. 

4. Monitor their use

Keep an eye on how your child uses social media and AI platforms by doing periodic spot checks of their device, combined with a monitoring tool like BrightCanary

In short

Social media use among teens remains mostly stagnant when compared to previous years, but use of AI chatbots is on the rise. This is troubling considering the risks kids face on AI platforms and the relative lack of safeguards. Teens also express increasing concerns about how social media impacts their mental health. It’s important to educate your child about how to stay safe on these platforms, set limits, use parental controls, and monitor their use. 

BrightCanary helps you monitor your child’s activity on the apps they use the most, including everything they type on social media and AI. Download today to get started for free.

Teen girl in yellow jacket holding smartphone outside

When to give our kids their first cellphone is a hot topic in my tween-parent cohort, especially as we look toward middle school next year (gulp). That’s why I was interested in a new study from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) examining the association between health risks and the age of phone ownership. 

The study authors identified three potential health implications of giving kids phones too young: mental health issues, weight gain, and sleep problems. 

How young is “too young” for kids to get a phone? 

Unfortunately, there’s no single answer to this question. The AAP study assessed the risks of phone acquisition starting at age 12. 

As you decide what’s right for your child, consider these factors:

  • Maturity level
  • Communication needs  
  • Family circumstances 
  • Your child’s existing mental and physical health 

What are the health outcomes of giving children a phone too young? 

The AAP study looked at three specific health issues when evaluating the impacts of early phone ownership. 

1. Mental health issues

The study found that, compared with their peers who don’t own phones, kids with smartphones at age 12 are:

  • 28% more likely to show signs of depression.
  • 59% more likely to have anxiety. 

2. Weight gain

The authors of the study found that smartphone use in early adolescence was associated with a 40% higher risk for obesity.

I found this item problematic for several reasons: 

  1. The causes of weight gain are complex and not fully understood.
  2. Many experts say the “war on obesity" does more harm than good. 
  3. As their sole measurement tool, the study used BMI, which is widely considered to be racially and gender biased. 

But these flaws don’t mean we need to throw out this point altogether. Instead, let’s look at two uncontroversial facts:

  1. Increased phone use by children leads to decreased physical activity.
  2. Physical activity offers numerous physical and mental health benefits for kids.  

Therefore, it stands to reason that the younger kids are given a phone, the younger they may become sedentary, introducing numerous health risks sooner. 

3. Sleep problems 

The study found that kids with smartphones were 60% more likely not to get enough sleep. Specifically:

  • Insufficient sleep was defined as “youth-reported sleep duration of less than 9 hours per night.” 
  • Each year earlier that a child got their first smartphone was associated with an 8% increase in insufficient sleep. 

How to protect your child against the negative health impacts of phone use

Given the connection between early phone ownership and negative outcomes for kids, giving your child their first device should not be taken lightly. 

Here are some protective steps you can take: 

1. Delay phone ownership if possible 

The earlier a child gets a phone, the more likely they are to be impacted. Therefore, even a few years’ delay can make a difference. There is a growing advocacy movement encouraging families to hold off until high school if possible, as well as a number of smartphone alternatives.

2. Consider other tools first  

The APA study did not find the same negative outcomes from other devices such as tablets and smart watches. Therefore, you should consider whether your child’s need for a smartphone could instead be met in another way

Tablets can be used for texting and FaceTiming from home, and smart watches are a great option for communicating while out of the house. 

3. Monitor their use 

The authors of the APA study suggest that a child’s smartphone ownership should be accompanied by “dedicated oversight.” That could look like: 

  • Setting up a digital device contract to establish expectations on how and when your child will use their phone. 
  • Periodic safety check-ins to check how they’re using their phone and  keep the lines of communication open.  
  • Using an app like BrightCanary to monitor for concerns. 

Summary

Research increasingly shows mental and physical health risks from giving a child a smartphone at a young age. The exact age to give your child their first phone depends on your unique circumstances. Before giving your child their first phone, weigh the pros and cons and explore alternative device options. Once your child has a phone, it’s important to regulate and monitor their use to help protect against negative health outcomes. 

BrightCanary helps you monitor your child’s activity on their smartphone and other Apple devices. The app scans everything your child types and sends you real-time alerts about anything concerning. You also receive AI-powered summaries, emotional insights, and access to full transcripts. Download today to get started for free.

Family looking in shop window

You knew this time would come, and now the day is finally here: your kid’s first phone. Before you wrestle with the wrapping paper, stick on a bow, and prepare yourself for preteen squeals of delight, there are some important things to do first. A first phone for kids is a big step, but with some proper planning, you’ll set them up for success by teaching healthy tech boundaries. 

1. Establish rules and expectations 

Be clear with your child that a phone is a big responsibility and that your job as a parent is to provide them with the guardrails they need to learn how to manage it. 

The rules and expectations you set will depend on your child’s age and maturity level, as well as your family values. Some common rules involve when and where the phone can be used, what it can be used for, and who it can be used to communicate with. 

2. Teach phone safety

A phone opens up a whole new world of independence for your child, but with that comes the need for safety. Talk to them about why they shouldn't share their phone number with everyone, and only talking and messaging with people they know in real life. This is also a great time to discuss staying safe from online predators

Your supervision helps teach your child an important lesson: a device isn't private. Unlike writing in a diary, anything they send or share online can be exposed to the world. When they don't understand this, they can fall into difficult social situations or become vulnerable to exploitation — even sextortion. Protect them by staying involved in their early online experiences and offering the guidance they need to navigate this new responsibility safely.

3. Plan for regular phone check-ins with your child

Regular tech check-ins are a great way to keep tabs on what your child is doing on their phone. It’s also helpful to establish clear lines of communication so they feel comfortable coming to you for help if they run into trouble. 

Sit down with your child on a regular basis to look at their phone together. Check out things like text messages, browser history, and apps. 

In the beginning, it helps to put these check-ins on the calendar until it becomes a habit. Even if your child is tempted to hide some material when they know a check-in is coming, some oversight is better than nothing.

4. Set up a monitoring app for your child's first phone

While there’s no substitute for the hands-on approach of regular tech check-ins, it’s also impossible for parents to catch everything. That’s where a service like BrightCanary is a lifesaver. 

BrightCanary uses AI technology to monitor your child's activity across every app they use. The app alerts you to any red flags that need your attention, so you can talk about them together. 

Before you hand over their shiny new phone, set up an account on BrightCanary and explain to your kids why and how it will be used. 

5. Set screen-free times and zones in the home

If your child is already using a tablet or other device, you’ve likely already set some rules around where and when that device can be used. But the portable, fits-in-your-pocket nature of a phone can make it tempting to pull their phone out at any time and place. Emphasize that the same screen-free times and zones apply to their phone. For example: no devices in the bedroom, at the dinner table, or in the car. 

6. Set up parental controls 

Take advantage of the parental controls built into your child’s new phone. The options will vary depending on the device, but a few to look for are screen time limits, downtimes when the device can’t be used, content restrictions, and app restrictions. 

Good news if you’re giving your kid an iPhone: Apple devices have robust parental controls that you can set up as soon as your child has their own iCloud account.

7. Create a digital device contract for your child's first phone

After you’ve decided on the rules and expectations around your kid’s new phone, write it into a digital device contract. This document helps make sure everyone is on the same page and emphasizes the importance of the things you’ve agreed upon.

What age should a child get their first phone?

There’s no official age, but experts say ages 11–13 are most common, depending on maturity, safety needs, and family circumstances. Some parents wait until after eighth grade before giving their child a smartphone.

In short 

Your child’s first phone can feel like a huge milestone. But it doesn’t have to be scary. Set yourself and your kid up for success by laying the groundwork ahead of time. 

Young boy riding bike outside

Statistically, kids today are far safer out in the world than their parents were growing up. At the same time, the internet has introduced new risks that parents didn't have to contend with when they were young. Many parents overestimate the dangers their kids face outside of the home and underestimate the risks of online spaces. 

The result is kids who are occupied by screens, without enough protections, instead of being encouraged to roam freely outside where they’re safer. 

In this article, we’ll go over the facts about online safety versus real-world dangers, the negative impact on kids when parents get the equation wrong, and what to do about it. 

Are kids safer online or offline? 

The spaces that kids occupy outside the home are safer today than in decades past, while online dangers continue to increase. Let’s look at the facts:

Offline risks to kids are down

  1. The chance of your child being kidnapped by a stranger is 1 in 720,000. To put it in perspective, a child is much likelier to be born a conjoined twin than to be snatched off the street. 
  2. The murder rate in the U.S. is lower than it was during the 1970s, ’80s, and ’90s, including a 12% drop in the past year — the biggest national decline on record. 
  3. Violent crime against children has decreased between 50-70% since the 1990s. 

Online risks to kids are up

  1. One in eight children experience online sexual abuse and exploitation each year.
  2. In 2024, nearly 13% of children were victims of non-consensual taking, sharing, and exposure to sexual images and videos.
  3. Nearly 42% of kids have been bullied online.
  4. As many as 83% of young people have been exposed to content promoting self-harm or suicide on social media. 

What happens when parents underprotect kids online

Despite the risks, most parents underestimate the threats their children face online. Here are three ways getting it wrong could put your child in danger:

  1. Predators. Undersupervised time online increases the risk your child will encounter sexual predators, who have adapted their grooming methods to fit online spaces. 
  2. Cyberbullying. Cyberbullying has a significant negative impact on children’s mental health; victims are more than twice as likely to engage in self-harm behavior. But only 8.9% of young cyberbullying victims report it to a parent or guardian, leaving kids who aren’t properly monitored online at risk of facing cyberbullying without support. 
  3. Harmful material. Exposure to material promoting disordered eating and self-harm increases the risks that your child will engage in those behaviors. 

Why overprotecting kids offline can backfire

There are also major downsides to overprotecting children offline. Here are three to consider:

  1. Decreased physical activity. When kids aren’t given the freedom and confidence to venture out on their own, they’re less likely to do physical activities like riding their bike, walking to a friend’s house, or running around in the yard. 
  2. Lack of self-sufficiency. Putting our kids in a bubble inhibits them from developing the skills they’ll need when they’re older. 
  3. Lower executive function abilities. Research shows that children who are given more freedom over their time have better executive functioning skills such as decision-making and memory. 

How to keep kids safe online while giving them more freedom offline

Here are some tips on striking a better balance between online protection and offline freedom:

  1. Create community. In some cases, it’s not that parents don’t want to give their child freedom. Overall, we lack the strong community networks that previous generations enjoyed, which made letting kids roam free an easier choice. Get to know your neighbors and band together with other parents in your community to encourage kids to spend time together. 
  2. Incentivize outside time. A friend of mine tells her kids they can come inside anytime, but when they do, it’s time to clean their rooms. Guess what they choose? 
  3. Teach independence skills. Show your kids safe routes to walk or bike to their friends’ houses, the corner store, or the park. Tell them what to do if they need help. Give them chores that help them practice independence, like taking the trash to the curb or walking their sibling home from school. 
  4. Set firm expectations for online behavior. Establish screen time limits, teach responsible online behavior, and put it all in a digital device contract.
  5. Monitor your child online. Practice regular digital safety check-ins and use a monitoring app like BrightCanary to make sure your child is staying safe online. 

Final word

The world outside your house can feel like a scary place to send your children, but it’s actually online spaces that pose a far bigger threat. Giving your children more freedom offline helps them build important skills, while keeping a closer eye on them online helps them stay safe. 

Help keep your child safe online with BrightCanary. Our advanced technology monitors everything your child types online and alerts you when there’s a problem. Download the app and get started today.

father and son using ChatGPT on laptop together

More and more parents are being asked by their kids if they can use ChatGPT. It’s understandable — the revolutionary AI service is everywhere, and it’s natural that children and especially teens would be curious about it. 

OpenAI requires users to be 13 years old to sign up for an account, but younger children can use ChatGPT under a parent’s supervision. With the new ChatGPT parental controls, it’s also easier for families to manage how kids use AI safely.

On one hand, using a service like ChatGPT can offer numerous benefits to your teen or pre-teen, including homework help, learning opportunities, and entertainment. On the other hand, there are also potential risks to consider. Here are some of the pros and cons, recommendations for managing the risks, and advice for talking to your child about your decision.

The benefits of letting your child use ChatGPT

When used thoughtfully, AI tools like ChatGPT can be beneficial for kids in a number of ways:

1. Homework help

If your child is struggling with a particular subject or assignment, they can use AI services like ChatGPT to get helpful explanations and tips. This can help them understand the material better and complete their homework more efficiently. (But they shouldn't use AI to complete their homework — more on that later.)

2. Learning opportunities

AI services can offer children a unique opportunity to learn about new topics or explore their interests. For example, if your child is interested in dinosaurs, they can ask ChatGPT questions about the different types of dinosaurs or their habitats. AI can be helpful for more advanced interests, too: ChatGPT can be especially helpful for kids who want to learn how to code.

3. Creative fun

ChatGPT can spark your child’s imagination and help them flex their creative muscles. Your kid can ask ChatGPT to tell jokes, help them brainstorm story ideas, or even come up with scenes like what would happen if dinosaurs could talk.

4. Communication skills

AI chatbots perform best when the prompts are clear and direct. So, chatting with an AI service can help children develop their ability to ask questions, express themselves clearly, and listen to others.

5. Life skills

By the time your kids graduate from high school, the ability to work and communicate with AI platforms will be an essential skill for many in college and in the workplace. From crafting ChatGPT prompts to brainstorm research paper topics to using one of the many AI platforms to write or check code, giving your kids access to AI services now will give them a head start on learning this crucial skill. 

The risks of letting your child use ChatGPT

As a new and relatively unknown technology, there are obviously potential risks to letting your child use AI tools like ChatGPT. 

1. Dependence

If your child becomes too reliant on AI services, they may not develop important critical thinking and problem-solving skills. AI is a tool, but it isn’t a replacement for developing essential skills like the ability to develop a strong argument or research an important topic. 

2. Privacy concerns

ChatGPT stores conversation data unless memory or training settings are turned off, or if parental controls are enabled. Children could also share personal details unintentionally. 

3. Inappropriate content

Some AI services may not filter out inappropriate content, such as explicit language or violent images. This could be harmful or upsetting to your child. AI services like ChatGPT have also been known to “hallucinate” responses and come up with sources that don’t actually exist, so it’s essential to talk to your child about double-checking their information.

4. Safety risks

In rare cases, AI services could pose a safety risk if they give your child dangerous or inaccurate information, particularly in response to sensitive topics.

5. Plagiarism

Your kid could be tempted to pass off the output they get from ChatGPT as their own.  Make sure your kids understand that it’s not OK to present information from this tool as their own work, especially for homework. 

Most schools have a zero-tolerance policy for plagiarism and consider it cheating. Talk to your child about the importance of using ChatGPT as a thought-starter, not as a replacement for their work. 

@bright_canary

You've probably heard about ChatGPT, the AI chatbot that can do everything from answer questions to write a social caption. (🤔) But ChatGPT carries some risks, such as privacy concerns and plagiarism. If you’re concerned about giving your child access to ChatGPT, there are some AI services that are explicitly kid-friendly. Here are a few! @MIT #ai #parentingtips #parentsoftiktok

♬ Futurmastic - Dombresky

What’s new with ChatGPT parental controls

In late 2025, OpenAI introduced built-in parental controls that let parents and teens link accounts, giving parents powerful new tools to manage safety and screen time.

Here’s how they work:

How to set up parental controls

  1. In ChatGPT, go to Settings > Parental Controls or visit chatgpt.com/parentalcontrols.
  2. Invite your teen to connect by email or text.
  3. Once linked, you can manage their settings directly from your account.
  4. Teens can unlink at any time — and you’ll receive a notification if they do.

What parents can manage

  • Sensitive content filters: Automatically block explicit or viral challenge content.
  • Model training: Disable training so your child’s data isn’t used to improve ChatGPT.
  • Memory: Prevent ChatGPT from storing conversation history.
  • Voice mode: Remove the option to use ChatGPT’s voice chat.
  • Image generation: Turn off the ability to create or edit images.
  • Quiet hours: Set time limits when ChatGPT can’t be used.

Safety notifications

If ChatGPT’s system detects a potential serious safety risk, such as threats of self-harm, parents may receive a notification — only with the minimal information necessary to help protect their child.

Controls for ChatGPT Atlas and Sora

Parents can also manage related OpenAI features from the same settings menu:

  • ChatGPT Atlas: A web browser with ChatGPT built in. Parents can control whether ChatGPT references browsing history or uses “agent mode” for multi-step tasks like shopping or research.
  • Sora (AI video app): Parents can disable continuous scrolling, personalized feeds, or direct messaging to limit screen time and social exposure.

Managing the risks of ChatGPT and AI

You can minimize the potential downsides while letting your child use ChatGPT by talking to your child and staying connected to how they’re using AI.

1. Use it together at first

Explore ChatGPT as a family. This helps you model how to ask good questions and identify reliable answers.

2. Discuss privacy and data

Teach your child never to share personal information — like their real name, location, or school — with ChatGPT or any online platform.

3. Encourage critical thinking

Remind your child that AI can be wrong. Encourage them to double-check facts and ask, “How do you know that?” 

4. Set clear boundaries

Add ChatGPT use to your family’s digital device contract. Set limits if necessary, including when and how often they can use them — especially as it relates to schoolwork. 

5. Use BrightCanary for added visibility

Even with parental controls, it helps to have another layer of oversight. BrightCanary lets you monitor what your child types on AI platforms like ChatGPT from their iPhone or iPad. You’ll receive real-time alerts for concerning topics, plus AI summaries that make it easy to understand how they’re using the app.

Staying involved is a big part of supporting your child as they learn to use AI apps like ChatGPT. BrightCanary makes it easier to stay connected.

How to set up a ChatGPT account to use with your child

You must be 18 years old to create an account with OpenAI to use ChatGPT. But you can create an account for yourself and use it with your child.

  1. Start by going to chat.openai.com 
  2. Create an account (“Sign up”) with your email address
  3. Click on “new chat” in the top left corner, and start your query/conversation

Kid-friendly AI alternatives

If you’re concerned about giving your child access to ChatGPT, there are some AI services that are explicitly kid-friendly. Here are a few:

  • Cognimates: An AI education platform for building games, programming robots, and training AI models
  • Scratch: A programming language that allows kids to create their own games, animations, and interactive stories.
  • MyKlovr: An AI-powered college counseling platform that helps students plan and prepare for their college applications.

The bottom line

Allowing your child to use AI services like ChatGPT is more a matter of “when” and “how” than “if,” given the way it’s changing work and school. As a parent, you can choose the best time to introduce your child to AI, and how to do it in a way that maximizes the benefits and manages the risks. 

Three kids with smart watches

A big topic of conversation lately in my tween-parent cohort is how to delay smartphones as long as possible. Many parents turn to smart watches to fill important communication needs before their kids are ready for phones. But are smart watches safe for kids? 

Let’s examine the safety risks of smart watches, which devices have the best parental controls, and the steps parents can take to make smart watches safer for their kids.

Why should you give your child a smart watch?  

Smart watches can be a great first device for kids who aren’t ready for a smartphone. Here are a few reasons parents choose them: 

  1. A middle-ground option. Smart watches offer texting, calling, and GPS without access to social media or web browsers. In this way, smart watches combine the safety features of smartphones with the pared-down nature of flip phones
  2. Built-in safety features. SOS mode, GPS tracking, and an emergency button give parents peace of mind.
  3. Practice, with guardrails. Smart watches help your child learn communication etiquette and online safety skills in a controlled manner. 

What are the safety risks of smart watches for kids?

While smart watches are generally safer than smartphones, they’re not risk-free. Here are safety considerations parents need to know: 

1. Contact with strangers

If you give your child unrestricted access to text on their smart watch, they could easily find themselves talking to unapproved contacts, potentially exposing them to predators

2. A false sense of security

Batteries die, cell service gets patchy, and GPS isn’t always accurate. If you rely solely on your child’s watch to keep them safe, they’re at risk if the technology fails. 

3. Distractions

Texting in class is bad news, but texting while crossing the street? That could be deadly. Smart watches are much less distracting than phones, but that doesn’t mean kids can’t get lost in them. 

4. Security risks 

Some smart watches marketed toward kids aren’t properly encrypted, leaving them open to digital attacks. Less reputable brands have had serious issues, like allowing hackers to send messages that appeared to come from a child’s parent, eavesdropping on kids, and intercepting parent-child communication.

How to keep your child safe while using a smart watch

The safety risks from a smart watch can largely be controlled with these safety measures:

1. Choose a reputable brand. Look for smart watches that have built-in parental controls and secure encryption. Avoid knockoffs or brands without clear privacy policies.

2. Turn on parental controls. Enable features that set communication limits, manage screen time, and block unknown messages.

3. Set non-digital safety boundaries. Establish rules for how far your child can go alone, who they can contact, and what to do if their watch stops working. 

4. Create a digital device contract. Outline when and how your child can use their smart watch, like no texting at school or after bedtime. 

5. Use a monitoring app like BrightCanary. If your child uses an Apple Watch, BrightCanary’s Text Message Plus plan lets you monitor texts (including deleted ones) and get alerts for concerning content. You can also view full transcripts or use AI summaries to understand what’s happening at a glance.

What are the best smart watches with parental controls?

When selecting a smart watch for your child, robust parental controls should be at the top of the list. Here are our top recommendations: 

1. Apple Watch

Apple Watches are a great option for kids. You don’t need an iPhone to use one, they have excellent built-in parental controls, and BrightCanary offers unparalleled monitoring on Apple devices. 

It’s vital that you set up Apple Family Sharing to enable parental controls, though. If you don’t take this step, your child will have unrestricted cellular service, which means they can be contacted by anyone, including strangers.  

2. Gabb Watch 3e

The Gabb Watch offers a ton of parental controls, like the ability to manage all contacts. It also has reliable location tracking and is intuitive for users (and their parents). 

The GPS tracking is accurate, and parents can set up “safe zones,” so they receive an alert whenever their child enters or exits those areas.

3. Fitbit Google Ace LTE

The parental controls on the Fitbit Google Ace LTE are managed through Google Family Link and offer strict options like required parental consent to add all contacts. 

Contacts are limited to 20, though, and adding friends can be glitchy, so this watch may be better for younger kids who mostly need to reach parents and other caregivers. 

Final word: Are smart watches safe for kids?

Yes. When properly set up, smart watches can be a safe option for kids who need a device but aren’t ready for a smartphone just yet. 

There are some risks to smart watches if they aren’t used properly, such as exposing kids to contact from strangers. That’s why it’s important to select a watch with strong encryption and robust parental controls and teach your child to use it safely and responsibly. 

For families opting to give their child an Apple Watch, BrightCanary helps you monitor all the texts they send and receive on their smart watch (including deleted messages) and sends you alerts if they encounter anything alarming. Download the app and get started today.

FAQ

1. What age is appropriate for a smart watch?

Most experts recommend introducing a smart watch between ages 8 and 12, when kids start gaining independence but aren’t ready for a smartphone.

2. Are smart watches safer than smartphones?

Generally, yes — smart watches limit exposure to the internet and social media, reducing risks like cyberbullying or online predators.

3. Can kids text on smart watches?

Many models allow limited texting or voice messaging, but parents can usually control who the child can contact.

4. How can I make my child’s smart watch safer?

Turn on parental controls, limit contacts, discuss safety rules, and use a monitoring app like BrightCanary for added visibility.

5. What’s the safest smart watch for kids?

The Apple Watch and Gabb Watch 3e are top options for safety, reliability, and parental control features.

We all want to protect our kids from harm, from scary people, from the internet, from the world. But here’s the truth: we can’t protect them from everything. What we can do is prepare them  with age-appropriate, empowering conversations about body safety and privacy. 

As a body safety educator and author of I Said No!, I’ve helped thousands of families have tough but important conversations with young kids. But as our kids grow older, those conversations need to evolve, especially as they start exploring the digital world. 

Here’s how to start and why it matters more than ever. 

What is body safety education?

Body safety education is about giving kids and parents the tools to protect themselves with confidence. It means teaching children that they have rights: the right to say no, the right to set boundaries, the right to ask questions, and the right to tell and be believed. 

It helps parents minimize risks by knowing that safe adults are defined not by titles, but by behaviors and how they make a child feel. Safe adults would never break a body safety rule, ask for secrets, or dismiss a child’s feelings. 

When families embrace body safety, they create a foundation of trust, communication, and prevention that helps keep kids safe.

Build a safety foundation with “what if” scenarios 

Instead of jumping into scary topics, meet kids where they are by asking curiosity-driven, scenario-based questions. You can adapt these questions based on their age and maturity level. The way you’d phrase these questions would be different for a child in elementary school or middle school. 

These help them think ahead, identify red flags, and feel confident saying no or asking for help. Try questions like: 

  • What if someone invited you into a group chat on a game or app?
  • What if someone said, “Don’t tell your parents” after sending you a weird message? 
  • What if a friend dared you to send a silly picture? 
  • What if someone used AI to make a picture of your friend that wasn’t real — but looked real? What would you do? 
  • What if a stranger messaged you through Roblox? Would you know what to do?

You can also introduce household tech boundaries early: 

  • “We charge our devices in the kitchen overnight to help our brains rest.” 
  • “In our family, phones don’t go into bedrooms or bathrooms — that’s a safety rule.” 
  • “If someone ever asks for a photo or makes you feel uncomfortable, you can always come to me.” 

These aren’t “big talks.” They’re small, daily moments of connection that normalize communication — and build safety skills long before your child needs to use them. 

Did you know? BrightCanary monitors every app your child uses, from Roblox chats to Instagram direct messages, and alerts you in real time if they send anything concerning.

Create an online safety plan

Sit down as a family and create a digital device contract together. This contract should include: 

  • A clear agreement on screen time, device use, and boundaries 
  • Rules for downloading apps, joining group chats, and friending people online 
  • A family code word your child can use if they feel unsafe or want to be picked up — no questions asked 
  • Education on privacy, screenshots, and how predators trick kids 
  • A strong message: “If something ever feels wrong — online or in real life — you can always come to me. You are never in trouble for asking for help.” 

The best time to create your online safety plan is before they get their first phone, tablet, or even email address. The second best time is now. 

To make it even more official, post your digital device contract somewhere highly visible at home, like on the fridge. Visual reminders matter.

Teach kids the warning signs (in their language)

Kids need to understand what online danger looks like in ways they can recognize and respond to. Even at a young age, you can explain: 

  • People who try to be “too friendly” too fast 
  • Anyone who asks them to keep secrets from parents or teachers
  • Strangers who send messages, links, or gifts 
  • Messages that make them feel “yucky,” scared, or confused 
  • Photos or videos that show private parts or make them uncomfortable 
  • A person inviting your child to condo rooms on Roblox or sending online gifts 
  • A person who is asking personal questions about school, address, family, personal topics 
  • Anybody who brings up anything sexual
  • Anybody who asks your child to send naked pictures of themselves
  • Anybody who claims to be friends of their friends

You don’t have to give them nightmares — just tools. When you’re talking about how to respond to these warning signs, use the I Said No! Model of Think, Say, Do. When kids use independent and creative thinking to generate solutions to problems, they are more likely to remember. 

For example: Let’s say a stranger online asks your child to send them a nude. What should they think, say, and do?

THINK: Red Flag! My body is private and nobody is allowed to see it, or to ask for

pictures of it. Also, this is not a friend I know in real life. Online “friends” are not safe. Friends don’t break body safety rules. This online friend is dangerous.

SAY: No!

DO: Take a screenshot of the question. Tell your mom right away. But what if you already sent a picture to your online friend and she sent one to you? And now you feel embarrassed and worried that your parents will be mad? Make sure to tell your mom or dad right away. Your parents love you and will help you, no matter what!

If you haven’t started, start today

Maybe you’re thinking: “My child is in 6th grade and we haven’t had these talks yet.” 

Here’s the good news: it’s never too late. These conversations don’t have to be perfect. They just have to begin. 

Here’s how: 

  1. Start with a book. There are body safety resources designed for both kids and adults.
  2. Keep it light but real. You might say something like, “I know we haven’t talked about this before, but it’s really important. And I’m learning, too.” 
  3. Use everyday moments. A commercial, a school flyer, a tech rule — anything can spark a meaningful moment. Talk about things they have heard about at school or in the news.

Predators are clever, and they use whatever tools are available to reach kids: YouTube comments, Discord, Spotify, Roblox, even educational apps. 

That’s why prevention starts with people. 

When we have these conversations, we don’t just protect our kids — we empower them. We teach them that their voice matters, their body belongs to them, and they deserve to feel safe in every space, on and offline. 

Kimberly King is a best-selling author, kindergarten teacher, and body safety educator who helps families talk about tough topics with less stress and more confidence. Pre-order the 2025 edition of I Said No! today.

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