The Body Safety Rules Your Middle Schooler Needs to Know

We all want to protect our kids from harm, from scary people, from the internet, from the world. But here’s the truth: we can’t protect them from everything. What we can do is prepare them  with age-appropriate, empowering conversations about body safety and privacy. 

As a body safety educator and author of I Said No!, I’ve helped thousands of families have tough but important conversations with young kids. But as our kids grow older, those conversations need to evolve, especially as they start exploring the digital world. 

Here’s how to start and why it matters more than ever. 

What is body safety education?

Body safety education is about giving kids and parents the tools to protect themselves with confidence. It means teaching children that they have rights: the right to say no, the right to set boundaries, the right to ask questions, and the right to tell and be believed. 

It helps parents minimize risks by knowing that safe adults are defined not by titles, but by behaviors and how they make a child feel. Safe adults would never break a body safety rule, ask for secrets, or dismiss a child’s feelings. 

When families embrace body safety, they create a foundation of trust, communication, and prevention that helps keep kids safe.

Build a safety foundation with “what if” scenarios 

Instead of jumping into scary topics, meet kids where they are by asking curiosity-driven, scenario-based questions. You can adapt these questions based on their age and maturity level. The way you’d phrase these questions would be different for a child in elementary school or middle school. 

These help them think ahead, identify red flags, and feel confident saying no or asking for help. Try questions like: 

• What if someone invited you into a group chat on a game or app?
• What if someone said, “Don’t tell your parents” after sending you a weird message? 
• What if a friend dared you to send a silly picture? 
• What if someone used AI to make a picture of your friend that wasn’t real — but looked real? What would you do? 
• What if a stranger messaged you through Roblox? Would you know what to do?

You can also introduce household tech boundaries early: 

• “We charge our devices in the kitchen overnight to help our brains rest.” 
• “In our family, phones don’t go into bedrooms or bathrooms — that’s a safety rule.” 
• “If someone ever asks for a photo or makes you feel uncomfortable, you can always come to me.” 

These aren’t “big talks.” They’re small, daily moments of connection that normalize communication — and build safety skills long before your child needs to use them. 

Did you know? BrightCanary monitors every app your child uses, from Roblox chats to Instagram direct messages, and alerts you in real time if they send anything concerning.

Create an online safety plan

Sit down as a family and create a digital device contract together. This contract should include: 

• A clear agreement on screen time, device use, and boundaries 
• Rules for downloading apps, joining group chats, and friending people online 
• A family code word your child can use if they feel unsafe or want to be picked up — no questions asked 
• Education on privacy, screenshots, and how predators trick kids 
• A strong message: “If something ever feels wrong — online or in real life — you can always come to me. You are never in trouble for asking for help.” 

The best time to create your online safety plan is before they get their first phone, tablet, or even email address. The second best time is now. 

To make it even more official, post your digital device contract somewhere highly visible at home, like on the fridge. Visual reminders matter.

Teach kids the warning signs (in their language)

Kids need to understand what online danger looks like in ways they can recognize and respond to. Even at a young age, you can explain: 

• People who try to be “too friendly” too fast 
• Anyone who asks them to keep secrets from parents or teachers
• Strangers who send messages, links, or gifts 
• Messages that make them feel “yucky,” scared, or confused 
• Photos or videos that show private parts or make them uncomfortable 
• A person inviting your child to condo rooms on Roblox or sending online gifts 
• A person who is asking personal questions about school, address, family, personal topics 
• Anybody who brings up anything sexual
• Anybody who asks your child to send naked pictures of themselves
• Anybody who claims to be friends of their friends

You don’t have to give them nightmares — just tools. When you’re talking about how to respond to these warning signs, use the I Said No! Model of Think, Say, Do. When kids use independent and creative thinking to generate solutions to problems, they are more likely to remember. 

For example: Let’s say a stranger online asks your child to send them a nude. What should they think, say, and do?

THINK: Red Flag! My body is private and nobody is allowed to see it, or to ask for

pictures of it. Also, this is not a friend I know in real life. Online “friends” are not safe. Friends don’t break body safety rules. This online friend is dangerous.

SAY: No!

DO: Take a screenshot of the question. Tell your mom right away. But what if you already sent a picture to your online friend and she sent one to you? And now you feel embarrassed and worried that your parents will be mad? Make sure to tell your mom or dad right away. Your parents love you and will help you, no matter what!

If you haven’t started, start today

Maybe you’re thinking: “My child is in 6th grade and we haven’t had these talks yet.” 

Here’s the good news: it’s never too late. These conversations don’t have to be perfect. They just have to begin. 

Here’s how: 

1. Start with a book. There are body safety resources designed for both kids and adults.
2. Keep it light but real. You might say something like, “I know we haven’t talked about this before, but it’s really important. And I’m learning, too.” 
3. Use everyday moments. A commercial, a school flyer, a tech rule — anything can spark a meaningful moment. Talk about things they have heard about at school or in the news.

Predators are clever, and they use whatever tools are available to reach kids: YouTube comments, Discord, Spotify, Roblox, even educational apps. 

That’s why prevention starts with people. 

When we have these conversations, we don’t just protect our kids — we empower them. We teach them that their voice matters, their body belongs to them, and they deserve to feel safe in every space, on and offline. 

Kimberly King is a best-selling author, kindergarten teacher, and body safety educator who helps families talk about tough topics with less stress and more confidence. Pre-order the 2025 edition of I Said No! today.