You knew this day would come. Your teen wants to start dating. Which brings up two very important questions: 1. What age is appropriate to date? and 2. What is teen dating like these days? Smartphones, the internet, and social media have dramatically changed the way teens date. Read on to learn what parents need to know.
Experts agree that kids should wait until they’re at least 16 to start going on traditional dates — that is, going out for a meal or movies without other friends around. However, this largely depends on your teen and whether they’re emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship.
The answer also depends on how your teen defines “dating.” When a tween or teen talks about being in a relationship with someone, they might be referring to back-and-forth text conversations or maintaining their Snap Streak with their crush, rather than a conventional date or relationship.
Teens make use of devices at every stage of dating. Here’s how:
Most teens don’t look to the internet to find people to date. But once they’ve identified a love interest, they often turn to social media to find out anything and everything they can about their crush.
A common way teens express romantic interest is by “deep liking,” or going onto their crush’s social media and liking a bunch of posts all at once. This practice has become a universal sign of romantic interest in the digital age. The next step is to “slide into their DMs” to start a private conversation.
Teens often spend a lot of time getting to know each other over text and social media before becoming a couple. When they’re ready to take that step, it’s typically marked by announcing on social media that they’re dating by stating their relationship status in their bio or replacing their profile picture with a couple selfie.
Once in a relationship, teens rely heavily on devices for keeping things going. This could take the form of texting, DMing, or sending Snaps.
When it comes to the end of a teenage romance, devices often play a role as well. Getting LOR (left on read), jealousy over how much their partner engages with another person online, or not hearing from their significant other — even though their posts make it clear they’re online — are all situations that could cause strife in a relationship.
However, despite their reliance on all things digital for dating, teens still mostly frown upon breaking up over text or social media.
The shift toward digital spaces in teen relationships has positive implications. It allows teens to spend more time vetting a potential partner and getting to know them before jumping into a relationship. It can also be more comfortable for socially awkward teens to initiate things online rather than in-person.
But there are also downsides to this dynamic. Here are some things parents need to be on the lookout for:
Sexting — sending or receiving sexually explicit videos, images, or text messages — is increasingly common among teens, but it can have serious implications.
Young love can be all-consuming. Many teens want to spend as much time as possible interacting with their significant other. This can lead to things like dramatically increased screen time or losing sleep from staying up late texting.
While most teens prefer to date people they know in real life, a small percentage do turn to dating apps. Some apps, like Yubo, are specifically geared toward underage daters, while others, like Skout, are meant for adults, but don’t have any age verification process. We don’t recommend teen dating apps because they come with a whole host of risks, ranging from grooming to scams.
In addition to talking to your teen about classic topics such as safe sex, birth control, and consent, broaden the conversation to include specific risks and tips for dating safely and smartly in the digital era. Here are some talking points:
Make sure they understand that sexting is risky and can have social, emotional, and even legal consequences. Even when sent over Snap, where it will theoretically disappear, the receiver can easily take a screenshot and send it out to anyone.
Reiterate your family rules around screen time and app use. Remind them that even if they want to send lovey-dovey Snaps for eight hours straight, they really do need to do their homework and sleep.
Explain to your child how easily things can be misconstrued over text or on social media. The absence of tone, facial expressions, and body language can obscure meaning, leading to conflict. Help them build skills for clear communication, stating their needs, and working through issues outside of texts and apps.
Devices, the internet, and social media have changed the way teens date. Parents should help their child understand the risks of dating in the digital era and keep the lines of communication open so that they’re able to support them if they run into an issue.
Talking to your teen should always be the first line of defense. But if you’re worried and want to keep an extra eye as they start to date, BrightCanary can help. The app’s advanced technology scans your child’s social media activity and messages, alerting you when they encounter something concerning. Start your free trial today.
It’s a fixture in modern culture and one of the most popular social media platforms for teens, but is Instagram safe for teens? Read on to find out more about Instagram’s risks and what parents can do to keep their child safe on the platform.
There are several reasons why Instagram is so popular with the younger crowd. One is its visual nature — the social media app’s emphasis on photos and videos is eye-catching and appealing to kids, and it’s all contained in an easy-to-scroll feed.
Instagram’s filters and editing tools also make it easy for kids to customize their own content right inside the platform. This gives teens the opportunity for self-expression and creativity, as well as easy ways to find other people and creators who share their interests.
Because tweens and teens are social creatures by nature, they also like the various ways they can connect with friends on Instagram — such as posting photos, liking and commenting on their friends’ posts, and direct messaging their peers.
For all its upsides, Instagram does pose significant risks for kids. Here are several dangers for parents to consider as they decide if they want to let their teen use the platform:
Instagram has made great strides of late to protect underage users on its platform — in large part because they have faced mounting public pressure to do so.
Their new teen accounts include built-in protections for kids and updated supervision tools for parents. While this is a step in the right direction (and a long time coming), parents need to be aware of where the new measures fall short.
As with other social media platforms, Instagram’s safety for teens depends largely on how they use it. Here are some tips for how to help your child use Instagram safely:
While Instagram’s new teen accounts are a step in the right direction for kids’ safety on the platform, they are still vulnerable to risks like cyberbullying and exposure to inappropriate material. The safest way for kids to use Instagram is with the parental monitoring app like BrightCanary, which gives parents additional insight into their child’s activity on the platform. Start your free trial today.
If you’re concerned about what your child views online, blocking specific websites can help protect them from inappropriate content and distractions. Keep in mind that blocking websites isn’t the end-all for parental controls. It is, however, a useful safety net, especially for younger kids.
To help you with the tools you need to create a safer online experience for your child, we’ve created this comprehensive guide to how to block a website across various browsers and devices, including Chrome, FireFox, and iPhones.
To block your child from accessing a particular website on Chrome, you can use the browser’s built-in features or a third-party extension.
If you aren’t sure what websites to block for your child, we recommend starting with pornographic websites, adult chat platforms, and websites with weak privacy settings and age restrictions.
You can also use a third-party extension to block websites on Chrome. Just be sure you choose one that’s reputable, such as ones found on the Chrome web store. Here are a couple to check out:
Here’s how to use Safari’s built-in parental controls to block websites:
Firefox doesn’t have any built-in parental controls, so you’ll need to block websites on your operating system or use an extension.
For Apple devices, Firefox checks the parental controls on your computer and sets itself to a safer browsing mode. To enable this on Mac, you’ll want to enable content and privacy restrictions on Screen Time and limit adult websites. Follow the same instructions as you would for Safari above.
You can also use a third-party extension from the Mozilla add-on store to block websites on Firefox. Here are a couple to check out:
Use the following steps to block websites on your child’s iPhone with the built-in Screen Time feature:
Learn more about how to block porn on iPhone, including text messages and explicit apps.
To block websites on your child’s Android, you can either use the built-in parental control features or Google Family Link. Here’s how:
To help protect their child online, parents should take an active role in vetting the websites they visit. This includes blocking websites that may expose them to inappropriate content or open them up to other risks.
Additionally, parents should use a parental monitoring app like BrightCanary to keep an eye on content their child searches for online. BrightCanary gives you insights based on what your child types on internet browsers on their iPhone or iPad, as well as texts, social media, and more. Download today.
If you’re looking to get your child their first phone, you might be wrestling with whether to get a flip phone or smartphone. Both options have pros and cons, and there are great selections in both categories. However, you need to weigh a variety of factors as you decide whether a flip phone or smartphone is right for your child — are they mature enough for a smartphone? Will the flip phone have all the features they need? Here are some important factors to consider.
Start by considering why your child needs a flip phone or smartphone. That will help narrow down your options.
Some reasons a kid might need a phone:
Flip phones have grown in popularity in recent years, especially as more parents seek to delay giving kids access to smartphones and reduce the temptation of screen time. But flip phones do have some drawbacks. Here are the pros and cons of flip phones for kids:
Flip phones are a great option for some kids. But if your child needs more functionality, you might consider a smartphone. Here are the pros and cons of smartphones for kids:
When deciding between a flip phone or smartphone for your child, it really comes down to what works best for your family. Regardless of what device you choose, it’s important to stay informed and involved with how your child uses their phone through things like digital check-ins and parental monitoring apps like BrightCanary.
If you’ve ever spent hours mindlessly scrolling through a series of negative and pessimistic posts online, congrats: you’ve doomscrolled. But what is doomscrolling? This habit is particularly harmful for kids because it can negatively impact their mental health and anxiety. It’s important for parents to help teens figure out how to stop doomscrolling. Here’s how you can help your child break the habit.
Doomscrolling refers to spending excessive amounts of time online viewing content that causes negative emotions, such as sadness and anger. It is, as the name implies, literally scrolling through the doom.
Some examples of doomscrolling include checking the news multiple times per day, compulsively looking at negative videos and posts about trending topics, and fixating on negative stories for hours — whether it’s about climate change, politics, or another controversial topic.
In order to help your teen stop doomscrolling, it’s useful to examine why they might be doing it in the first place. Here are some reasons why teens doomscroll:
With all the negative events happening in the world, teens turn to doomscrolling to help them feel more in control of their own lives. To ease their fear of the unknown, some teens feel a sense of safety in staying informed about current events.
It’s easy to look at negative events in the world and feel helpless to change them. Doomscrolling can provide a false sense of taking action by exposing the viewer to the darker side of headlines and connecting them to a range of creators in the space.
As odd as it might sound that spending hours consuming content about war, natural disasters, and political unrest could be soothing, there’s some logic to it. Doomscrolling is an avoidance technique. People often use it to help them escape difficult emotions.
Kids can feel left out of conversations with peers if they aren’t informed about the biggest news of the day. To deal with this fear of missing out (FOMO), teens might doomscroll to make sure they don’t miss anything.
Given the content involved in doomscrolling, you probably won’t be surprised to know that the behavior can negatively impact your teen in a number of ways.
Doomscrolling can seriously affect your teen’s mental health. It can cause stress or anxiety about the state of the world or fear that similar things might happen to them.
Too much screen time in general can lead to a loss of sleep. Add to that worries about the negative news they’re consuming, and your teen’s slumber could really suffer.
Exposure to excessive amounts of bad news can desensitize your teen toward violence and tragedies to the point where they become numb to bad news. This numbing can lead to a decrease in empathy for others.
Social media algorithms take a user’s behavior and serve up similar content. This can create an echo chamber on your teen’s feed. The more time they spend doomscrolling, the darker their feed is likely to become, skewing their perception of what’s happening in the world.
Here are some signs your teen may be doomscrolling:
If your teen needs help figuring out how to stop doomscrolling, here are some tips:
Doomscrolling can negatively impact teens in a number of ways, from their mental health to their sleep. If you’re wondering how to stop doomscrolling, parents should keep an eye on their kid’s media consumption, help them reduce their screen time and app usage, and encourage the consumption of uplifting content.
BrightCanary can help you keep an eye on what your child is viewing online to watch for doomscrolling. The app’s advanced technology scans your child’s activity, alerting you when they encounter something concerning. Download the app and get a free trial today.
We talk to parents all the time about the benefits of text message monitoring. But sometimes, we get this question: “What if my child is deleting text messages?” If you have reason to suspect your child deleted text messages, it’s normal to be concerned. It’s also important to approach the situation thoughtfully so you can have a productive conversation with them. Here’s what parents should know about dealing with deleted messages.
You might feel worried, angry, and disappointed that your child is having secret conversations, but it’s important to take a deep breath and thoughtfully consider Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
If you find a deleted message on your child’s device that concerns you, set aside time to speak with them about it. Here are some tips to help you get started:
No matter how upset you are, try your best to remain calm when you talk to your child. Reacting from a place of extreme emotion is likely to shut down the conversation, when what you really need is open communication.
It’s possible your child will have some pretty big feelings when you approach them about deleted messages. They may feel angry that you read them, worried about getting in trouble, or embarrassed about the content of the messages.
Before you go any further in the conversation, give them space to have their feelings. Even if you were justified in reading their messages, their feelings are also valid — let them have them.
Here’s a talking point to help you field their emotions:
"I understand why you're upset. You have very right to your feelings. But my number one job as a parent is to keep you safe, and what I saw concerned me."
It’s so important to talk to your child in an open, supportive manner. Remember, the deleted messages might not be a big deal. On the other hand, they might be a huge deal. But you won’t know unless you hear from your child. Ask open-ended questions and give them room to tell you what happened.
Here are some suggestions to get you started:
“Tell me more about these messages.”
“How did the messages make you feel?”
“Why did you choose to delete them?”
“Why do you think I might be concerned about the messages and the fact that you deleted them?”
Above all else, your responsibility as a parent is to keep your child safe. Explain to them that, just like you held their hand crossing the street when they were little even though they thought they were grown, there are times now where you’ll need to be involved in their digital communication.
There are several ways to read your child’s deleted messages: through the messages app, on iCloud, or with BrightCanary. Check out this guide for detailed instructions.
Of these three options, BrightCanary offers the most robust and comprehensive access to deleted messages on Apple devices with the Text Message Plus plan. You’ll be able to view deleted texts, summaries of your child’s threads, and concerning content — so you don’t have to review every single message unless there’s cause for concern.
If you suspect the deleted messages were with a predator, or if the content involved nude, semi-nude, or sexually explicit videos or images of a child, document and report the material to the platform or phone carrier and to law enforcement. You can also report the incident to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC)’s CyberTipline.
There are many reasons kids delete messages — some innocent, some concerning. Parents should monitor their child’s phone and talk to them if they suspect they’re deleting messages. BrightCanary analyzes your child’s activity and alerts you to any red flags. The app also gives you access to read your child’s messages — including deleted ones when you upgrade to Text Message Plus. Download the app and start your free trial today.
Stellar Blade is an action-adventure role playing game (RPG). Players assume the role of Eve, a super soldier battling an invading alien force on a post-apocalyptic Earth. Sounds interesting, right? But is this PlayStation 5 game appropriate for children? Read on for details about the Stellar Blade age rating and whether this title is right for kids.
The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) rating for Stellar Blade is TV-MA. This category is used for content which is suitable for mature audiences aged 17 and older.
Common Sense Media, an independent nonprofit that provides ratings for media in order to help inform parents, agrees with the 17+ rating. They cite bloody action and an overtly sexualized hero to support their decision.
Profanity in Stellar Blade is mild and infrequent, limited to the occasional use of hell and sh*t. So, don’t expect 100% squeaky clean language, but it’s also probably nothing your child hasn’t heard at school already.
While there is no sex and nudity in Stellar Blade, some of the outfits and camera work are heavily suggestive. Female characters primarily wear skin-tight bodysuits, including the main character, Eve.
While some of Eve’s outfits are otherwise modest and feel almost practical in a cyberpunk kind of way, others are just slips of fabric barely covering her body. Almost all of Eve’s clothing seems intended to sexualize her (with the notable and amusing exception of a full bear suit), and this is highlighted when the camera draws attention to her curves.
For parents deciding if Stellar Blade is appropriate for their child, the level of violence is a deciding factor. At its heart, Stellar Blade is a fighting game. Eve uses a variety of weapons, including realistic gunfire, to engage in brutal combat against her enemies, who scream in pain and spray large volumes of blood as they’re being attacked. The deaths are often very violent, including being cut in half and decapitated.
The enemies are all monsters, but some are vaguely human in resemblance. And there is violence against human characters as well, including one cutscene where a woman is torn apart and impaled. Even more notable is the offscreen violence. As Eve investigates the post-apocalyptic world, she comes across a huge number of human bodies having suffered cruel deaths.
The violence in Stellar Blade is stylized and over-the-top, so it may feel too removed from reality to scare some kids, but others — especially younger children — could easily be frightened by the game.
There is no alcohol or substance use in Stellar Blade.
Stellar Blade is an action-adventure RPG game for PlayStation 5. The game is targeted toward adults, which is clear in the rampant violence and sexualized female characters. We recommend taking the Stellar Blade rating of 17+ seriously before handing it off to your child.
While BrightCanary doesn’t cover gaming platforms like PlayStation 5, the app’s advanced technology can keep you informed if your child is looking up video game playthroughs and scenes on Google, YouTube, and social media. BrightCanary scans their online activity and alerts you when they encounter something concerning. It’s a great way to monitor what media your children are interested in. Start your free trial today.
If you have kids, you’ve probably heard them talk about Snapchat. This messaging app is all the rage with teens and has become firmly embedded in their social landscape. But their comments about features like the Snap Map and Snapstreaks might leave you wondering, “Is Snapchat safe for kids?” In this article, we’ll answer that question and give you tips for helping your child stay safe on the app.
Snapchat is a free social media app that allows users to share messages, and pictures or videos (Snaps) with their friends and family. Users can also video chat with up to 15 friends simultaneously. Snapchat is best known for the way Snaps disappear after being viewed.
Snapchat also has a newsfeed-esque feature called Spotlight, which is similar to TikTok or YouTube Shorts. Users can browse trending stories from people and brands, including accounts they don’t follow.
Sounds fun, but is Snapchat safe for kids? Let’s first take a look at some of the risks.
The answer to this is a bit nuanced. Snapchat does have risks. But, like most things, it comes down to how it’s used.
If your child Snaps to stay in touch with close friends, that’s one thing. If they use it to chat with strangers or broadcast their location to the public, that’s a major concern.
If you decide to let your child use Snapchat, it’s vital that you help them learn how to do so safely and keep an eye on how they use it.
The good news is, there’s plenty you can do to help keep your kid safe on Snap. Here are our top tips:
Make sure your child is aware of the dangers of Snapchat, like stranger danger and cyberbullying. Be clear they should never Snap with people who they don’t know.
In Settings, you can customize who can and can’t see your child’s Snapchat stories. You can also set their account to Ghost Mode, which hides their location.
Snapchat Family Center allows you to restrict sensitive content in your child’s Snapchat’s Stories and Spotlight sections, where they could be exposed to inappropriate material posted by others. It also lets you see who your child is communicating with and how frequently. It does not, however, let you see the actual Snaps that your child sends and receives.
Snapchat poses several risks to kids, including location sharing, exposure to inappropriate images, and possible communication with strangers. Parents should help their child learn how to use Snapchat safely as well as monitor their child’s activity on the app.
Screen time often gets a bad rap in parenting circles. While it’s true that too much screen time can lead to a host of negative impacts on children, there are also several benefits of screen time. When done well, it can support things like education, family bonding, and social connection. Plus, not all screen time is created equal — it’s not just quantity that matters, but quality.
But I get it, the parental worry (and guilt!) over screen time runs deep. That’s why it’s time to shift our perspective on screen time from an inherently harmful activity to a tool that, when employed thoughtfully, can offer significant benefits.
If you’re still skeptical that screen time can be anything but bad, here are some of the ways it can benefit your child:
It’s important to remember that not all screen time should be lumped into one bucket. Quality versus quantity matters. Here are some thoughts to help you differentiate beneficial screen time activities from those that are less so.
Active screen time involves cognitive thought or physical engagement, like playing a video game, learning a new skill, or creating something. Compared to passive screen time, such as watching TikTok or scrolling social media, active screen time has proven mental and physical benefits.
While it’s okay to let your kids do some mindless scrolling, it’s a good idea to set limits around it. For example, you might allow your teen to scroll social media apps for just 30 minutes a day.
On the other hand, it’s okay to be more lenient with activities such as science videos or enriching destinations like PBS Kids, Khan Academy, and Nat Geo Kids. If your child wants to spend more time on these platforms, consider extending their active screen time a bit longer.
Access to devices is a privilege, one that can be earned through good behavior and meeting family expectations. Explain to your child that, like all privileges, screen time also comes with responsibility.
This includes using social media responsibly and acting online the way you’d expect them to act in real life. A parental monitoring app like BrightCanary can be a useful tool as you guide them through this process — it shows you what they see and do online, on social media, and in text messages, so you can step in if you see anything concerning.
Pro tip: Start with a more hands-on approach and then give them more independence as they get older.
Even the most beneficial screen time can be overdone. Moderation is essential, ensuring it doesn’t replace real-life interactions and activities. To help your kids find balance, set healthy screen time boundaries.
We always recommend:
And remember: our kids are watching and they learn from our behavior, whether they’ll admit it or not. That’s why it’s paramount to not just tell kids how to have healthy screen time habits — parents must also model a balanced approach to their own device use.
While there are negative impacts of too much screen time on kids, when used wisely, it can have positive effects, both mentally and physically. Parents should encourage active versus passive screen time, steer kids toward enriching online activities, and create balance by setting tech boundaries.
From so-called thinfluencers to the glamorization of harmful eating habits and online personalities promoting juice cleanses, diet culture and unrealistic body standards are nearly inescapable on social media. But how does social media influence eating disorders? In this article, we’ll explore this issue and offer proactive tips for parents.
In adolescents, eating disorders are the third most prevalent chronic illness, with cases more than doubling in the past decade. While anorexia and bulimia are the most well known, disordered eating can take a number of different forms, such as binge eating disorder and extreme picky eating. These disorders tend to emerge in adolescence, and it’s estimated that 13% of young people develop one by the age of 20.
Due to their complexity, no single risk factor causes eating disorders. However, research suggests that the misuse of social media platforms is likely a significant contributing factor.
Here are some social media trends that may influence eating disorders:
#WIEIAD or “What I Eat in a Day” is a social media trend where users detail everything they eat in a 24-hour period.
Why it’s problematic: #WIEIAD videos often endorse unhealthy eating habits that can lead to imbalanced diets, body image issues, and disordered eating. Even if the food featured in a video is healthy for the creator, nutritional needs vary from person to person. Kids who imitate these diets hoping to achieve the creator’s body type may not get the calories or nutrients they need to thrive.
Thinspiration refers to images and text promoting and idealizing thinness. Fitspiration is the promotion of health and fitness.
Why it’s problematic: Thinspiration is the more worrisome of the two, often highlighting bony body parts, emphasizing body comparison, and promoting restrictive eating.
Fitspiration tends to be less extreme than thinspiration — but not all fitspo accounts are healthy. Studies comparing the two reveal that fitspiration often promotes similar problematic attitudes about fitness, body image, and restrictive eating. Both tend to endorse an unrealistic ideal of a “fit-and-thin” body type.
Thinfluencers are social media creators who post content promoting weight loss, often through extreme dieting, with the goal of fitting a thin societal standard.
Why it’s problematic: Thinfluencers can become negative role models for impressionable kids. Young people who spent their formative years in the pandemic may be especially vulnerable. Because the internet was a big way kids found connection during that time, they may be more likely to form a parasocial relationship with influencers, making them especially susceptible to their messages.
Another concerning trend is a hyperfocus on clean eating. While eating mostly whole foods and minimizing ultra-processed foods is generally a good idea, social media has turned clean eating into a trend that kids are encouraged to buy into. This shows up as sponsored posts for “detox” green powders and online personalities with no nutrition credentials promoting fads like juice cleanses and raw food diets.
Why it’s problematic: Orthorexia is an eating disorder characterized by an unhealthy fixation on eating only healthy and clean foods. Social media content focusing on clean eating and detoxes may entice kids into unhealthy relationships with food or reinforce already existing habits.
Maiken Wiese, a Registered Dietitian and Certified Dietitian-Nutritionist specializing in eating disorder recovery for teens and adults, shared the following list of eating disorder red flags for parents to watch for:
Although we’ve all been conditioned to imagine a person with an eating disorder as looking emaciated, that isn’t always the case. Wiese cautions parents that their child’s appearance may or may not change, but that has no bearing on how dangerous disordered eating can be.
Wiese emphasizes that parents don’t cause children to develop eating disorders. Instead, “they can be incredibly helpful and some of the best supporters of children building a better relationship with food and their bodies.”
Here are some actions parents can take:
There’s no single reason a person develops an eating disorder, but research suggests that the misuse of social media platforms is likely a significant contributing factor. Parents can help support their child to develop a healthy relationship with food by modeling a positive attitude about eating and their own bodies, teaching media literacy, and staying involved in their child’s activity on social media.
BrightCanary can help you supervise your child’s social media use and show you what they see on their feeds, what they’re searching, and even what they’re messaging. The app’s advanced technology scans your child’s activity and messages, alerting you when they encounter something concerning.
