What age your kids should have social media is perhaps the defining question of modern parenthood. It’s particularly pressing considering that Meta was recently found liable for contributing to young users’ mental health issues and for failing to protect children from predators on their platform.
Fellow parents, I wish I could give you a concrete number, but the reality is that there’s no universal right answer. What I can do is walk you through how to make a decision that’s best for your child.
Here are a few factors to consider when deciding when to introduce your child to social media:
There’s currently no federal minimum age to use social media in the United States, but a patchwork of state laws is rapidly emerging. Congress is considering a bill that prohibits social media platforms from knowingly allowing users under 13.
As the U.S. weighs legislation, it’s worth considering Australia’s recent ban on social media for kids under 16. Despite the threat of hefty fines, Australia says major social media companies aren’t fully complying with the new law.
Most social media platforms require users to be 13. The Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) governs online collection of personal information from children under 13, so most platforms comply by banning younger users. In reality, though, age-verification measures on social media platforms are typically quite basic, and kids can usually bypass it.
When it comes to the impact of social media on the brain, research shows that age matters.
But maturity is more than just age. You should also consider your child’s:
How your child interacts with other content online offers clues to how they’ll handle social media. Ask yourself:
Just as there’s no one right answer on what age kids should have social media, there’s no single consensus among experts. Instead, consider these trusted perspectives:
BrightCanary is the only child monitoring app recognized by the American Psychological Association’s APA Labs Digital Badge program. Learn more about this designation.
When you do introduce your child to social media, here’s how to do so safely:
Start slow. Let them have an account on just one social media site at first, and make sure you set any available parental controls on the platform. Here are our guides for parental controls on Instagram and YouTube.
Wait until they’ve proven they can be responsible before you add more.
No matter what age you decide to let your child use social media, monitoring them from day one is essential. To effectively monitor your child on social media:
There’s no single answer to when kids should have social media, although most experts suggest waiting until at least 13. When considering what’s right for your child, look at things like their maturity level, their ability to follow safety rules, and how they handle other digital media. When your child does start using social media, introduce one platform at a time and monitor their online activity.
If you’ve tried using Bark on an Apple device and you’re fed up with how poorly it functions on iOS, you’re not alone. Many parents report unreliable alerts and limited coverage, leaving huge gaps in protection.
The good news is: there are better alternatives to Bark that give you the robust protection you’re looking for without the headache.
Check out our roundup of five alternatives to Bark, including key features, limitations, and pricing, to find the option that’s right for you.
Best for: Real-time monitoring across all apps on iOS
Why it’s a top Bark alternative: BrightCanary is the most robust parental monitoring app available for iOS devices. Because it’s powered by the BrightCanary Keyboard, your child is protected on every app, website, and messaging platform they use, including Snapchat, TikTok, Instagram, Discord, Roblox, and AI chat apps.
You get:
Considerations:
Best for: Families who have both Android and iOS devices.
Why it’s a good alternative to Bark: Qustodio offers very similar features and functionality for both iOS and Android devices. You can use it to set limits on apps and block your child from accessing specific apps and websites, and Qustodio sends an alert when your child encounters something alarming.
For Android devices, it also features a panic button so your child can send an emergency alert with their location to a list of trusted contacts.
Considerations:
Best for: Parents who want customizable restrictions and filters.
Why it’s a good alternative to Bark: With Microsoft Family Safety, you can set screen time limits at the device level as well as for specific apps, and view activity summaries to see how your child spends their time online. It also allows for custom filters to limit the websites and apps that your child can access.
Considerations:
Best for: Parents who are primarily concerned with their child’s internet searches.
Why it’s a good alternative to Bark: Net Nanny allows you to see what apps your child uses and provides real-time alerts when they search for terms related to porn, suicide, weapons, and drugs. You can also set internet filters, block pornography, track your child’s location, and restrict access to specific websites.
Considerations:
Best for: Allowing kids to take an active role in regulating their own screen time.
Why it’s a good alternative to Bark: If you’re looking for an easy interface that works across multiple platforms, Mobicip is worth exploring. It can be used to set screentime schedules, monitor social media conversations, and remotely lock a device’s screen. It also offers AI-powered content filtering and an activity summary.
Of particular note is the collaboration feature, which invites kids to take an active role in regulating their own screentime.
Considerations:
If Bark isn’t giving you the coverage, reliability, or peace of mind you need, especially on iOS, you’re far from alone. The good news is that today’s parental monitoring tools offer stronger protection, smarter AI insights, and better compatibility across the apps your kids use every day.
BrightCanary is the best Bark alternative for parents who want real-time monitoring across every app on iPhone and iPad, along with actionable insights and instant alerts. But depending on your family’s devices and priorities, Qustodio, Microsoft Family Safety, Net Nanny, and Mobicip each offer distinct advantages worth considering.
Want comprehensive protection on iOS with real-time visibility across all apps? Try BrightCanary today and start your free trial.
Recently, news about the war came on the radio. I was preoccupied, so it didn’t even register what was on the radio, which meant I was caught off-guard later when my son said hearing about Iran’s nuclear weapons scared him.
I’m no stranger to tough questions about heavy topics, as the parent of an anxious, highly inquisitive kid. I had to fly by the seat of my pants this time, but I generally consider myself well-equipped to answer (almost) anything at (almost) any time.
Here are my tips from the trenches, supported by advice from child mental health experts, on how to help your child cope with scary news.
Keep up with the news so that you’re prepared to answer your child’s questions. If your child asks you about something you don’t feel equipped to discuss, be honest. Tell them you need to gather more information and then follow up later.
If there’s something big happening in the news, make a point to discuss it as a family. Start by asking your kid what they’ve heard and what questions they have. The unknown can be particularly anxiety-provoking for some children. Help your child make sense of the news before it spirals into fear.
Did you know? You can stay informed about what your child is looking up online with BrightCanary monitoring.
Listen, I’m an anxious parent raising an anxious child, so I know this isn’t easy. Use all of your coping tools to manage your own emotions so that you’re not piling onto theirs. Sometimes, this means faking it until you make it.
Don’t dismiss your child’s fears. Pretending everything is hunky-dory won’t erase their worry, and it may signal to them that they can’t bring their fears to you.
Instead, validate their concerns and offer the most reassurance you can while remaining authentic. For example, when my son asked me about Iran’s nuclear weapons, here’s what I said:
“You’re right, that is scary. I try to remind myself how foolish Iran would be to bomb the U.S., because the U.S. has nuclear weapons, too, and could just retaliate. That’s why countries have nuclear weapons, as a deterrent. Everyone’s really just trying to scare each other. ”
I’m a firm believer that you can discuss any topic with any child of any age. The key is tailoring it to their maturity and level of understanding.
I knew my son was capable of understanding the concept of mutually assured destruction and also that his brain needs lots of details in order to process situations. If I were speaking with my 6-year-old, I would have stayed high-level with my response and emphasized that her little corner of the world is safe.
Kids deserve to know what’s going on in the world, but (much like adults) too much exposure to scary news can cause stress. It can make it feel like faraway events are in our own backyards. Kids also don’t have the lifetime of context that adults do to help them make sense of things.
Here are some ways to help your child find a healthy balance between informed and overexposed:
It’s normal for kids to worry, but sometimes that worry crosses into anxiety and interferes with their life. When that happens, it may be time to seek professional help.
Here are some signs your child might be struggling with anxiety:
The world can be a scary place. Social media produces a level of near-constant exposure to the news that can cause worry and anxiety in some kids. Be proactive and discuss current events with your child before their fears have a chance to spiral.
If they come to you with concerns, validate their feelings and give them age-appropriate context to help them make sense of what's going on in the world. Help them assess their exposure to the news and encourage them to set healthy screen time limits.
BrightCanary can help you keep tabs on what news events your child is curious about so you can be prepared to answer their questions. Download it today to get started for free.
If you’re looking for a phone monitoring app for your kid but want to make sure you’re making the best choice, look no further. This roundup compares the four best monitoring apps for parents to use when keeping their child safe online.
| BrightCanary | Apple Screen Time | Bark | Qustodio | |
| Platform | iOS only | iOS only | iOS and Android | iOS and Android |
| Monitoring type | All apps | Screen time and content filtering | Partial: Specific apps only | Partial: AI-scanned texts and social |
| AI-powered scanning | Yes | No | Yes | Yes |
| Real-time alerts | Yes | No | Yes | Yes |
| Social media monitoring | Yes, all apps | No | Partial | Partial |
| AI app monitoring | Yes | No | Partial | No |
| Screen time controls | No | Yes | Yes | Yes |
| App blocking | No | Yes | Yes | Yes |
| Works without home WiFi | Yes | Yes | No | No |
iOS
Apple Screen Time is built into all iOS devices. The parental control features allow you to filter content and set limits on your child’s iPhone. While it’s lighter on monitoring capabilities, Apple Screen Time made our list because it’s a great complement to more traditional monitoring apps. (It pairs extremely well with BrightCanary.) And because it’s native to iOS devices, setup is seamless.
If you’re looking for the best phone monitoring app for your kid, BrightCanary has you covered. BrightCanary harnesses advanced technology to remotely scan everything your child types across every app to help keep them safe, no matter the platform. Setup is a breeze, and because it was built specifically for iOS, it outperforms similar monitoring apps on Apple devices.
Qustodio is very similar in functionality to Bark. It uses AI to scan your child’s activity on their phone and sends you alerts if there’s a concern detected over text or social media messages. Qustodio stands out for its panic button feature, although that’s only available on Android devices.
Bark uses AI-powered monitoring to scan your child’s activity on some of the most popular apps and social media platforms. It also has other features like location tracking and screen time limits. Bark is available on iOS but performs best on Android devices. Aside from its monitoring, most of Bark’s features are available for free through Apple Screen Time.
BrightCanary is the best parental monitoring app for iOS devices, offering robust, keyboard-based monitoring on every app and website your child uses. If your child has an Android, Bark or Qustodio are good choices.
Apple Screen Time is excellent for filtering content, blocking apps, and restricting screen time. It’s built into all iOS devices and is free to use. However, the monitoring insights are very limited. Apple Screen Time is best when paired with a third-party monitoring app for kids like BrightCanary, which is specifically designed to work on iOS devices.
Because it was built specifically for iOS devices, BrightCanary is the best phone monitoring app for parents whose kids use iPhones, especially when it's used alongside Apple Screen Time. The BrightCanary Keyboard monitors everything your child types on their iPhone, across all apps, websites, AI, and social media platforms.
You’ve probably heard of burner phones, but what is a burner account? Many teens are turning to these secret social media profiles to hide their online activity. The practice isn’t always done for nefarious reasons; nevertheless, it can expose kids to serious risks.
Burner accounts are secret, anonymous social media profiles designed to hide a person’s true identity.
Often, they’re secondary accounts used in conjunction with a person’s main profile. Burner accounts might be fully anonymous, or a user might let a select group of friends in on their identity. They’re frequently used by celebrities, teens, and anyone who wants to fly under the radar online.
Burner accounts and finstas are essentially the same. “Burner” is generic and covers all social media, whereas “finstas” are specific to Instagram.
Burner can also mean temporary, whereas finsta accounts tend to live on, but these terms are often used interchangeably.
There are a number of reasons why your teen might have a secret account. Not all of them are concerning. Here are some reasons teens use burner accounts:
The desire for privacy is a normal part of adolescence. Some kids use burner accounts to conceal their online activity from their parents, not because they’re doing anything wrong, but because they’re, well, teenagers.
If you’ve set up parental controls on Instagram, Snapchat, or other social media, your child might use a burner account to get around those restrictions.
Social media puts modern kids under a microscope in a way previous generations never experienced. Some kids create burner accounts and keep them private so they can be online without constant social pressure.
If your child has a burner account, it could be nothing more than a silly experiment or a fun alter ego.
Here’s where it gets dicey. Some kids use burner accounts because they’re engaging in activities they don’t want their parents to discover. It could be something dangerous, like drug use or provocative behavior, or something that isn’t dangerous, but that their parents would disapprove of.
Keeping secrets from parents is a developmentally normal part of being a teenager. It's part of forming their own identity and searching for independence. But secret-keeping in the form of a burner account brings particular risks.
Did you know? Thousands of parents trust BrightCanary to monitor every app their kids use — even the apps parents don’t know about. Start your free trial of the best child monitoring app for iOS.
If you discover your child has a burner account (or just suspect it), here are five steps you can take to protect them:
Step one is to talk to them about it. Without blame, ask them why they’re using a burner account. This is new territory for you both, and mutual respect will help you work together toward a solution.
When you talk to your child about their burner account, you may discover they’re using it to hide unsafe or illegal behavior. If that’s the case, addressing these concerns needs to be your top priority.
Remind them that nothing is truly private online, and explain that they’re putting themselves at risk by using an account without any teen protections or parental controls.
Depending on what you discover in your conversation, you may choose to let your child keep their burner account, or you might decide it’s a hard no. Whatever the case, be clear about what you expect from them moving forward.
BrightCanary can’t directly detect that your child has a burner account, but by monitoring everything they type on their device across all apps and websites, it will spot anything concerning, even on secret accounts.
You’ll get insights through your parent dashboard and real-time alerts to any red flags. There’s a reason BrightCanary was included in the APA Labs Digital Badge Solution Library, which recognizes solutions committed to clinical evidence, ethical standards, data privacy, and child safety.
A burner account is a secret, anonymous social media profile used to hide a person's true identity. Teens often use them as secondary accounts alongside their main profiles — sometimes keeping them fully anonymous, sometimes sharing their identity with a small circle of friends. The term covers all social media platforms; the Instagram-specific version is called a finsta.
Finsta is a combination of "fake" and "Instagram." It refers to a secondary, often private Instagram account that a teen uses separately from their main profile. Finstas typically have a smaller, more trusted audience and are used to share content the teen wouldn't want on their main account. While the term is Instagram-specific, the concept is essentially the same as a burner account on any other platform.
Teens create burner accounts for a range of reasons — not all of them concerning. Some want privacy from parents as a normal part of adolescent development. Some use them to escape social pressure from their main account. Others use them specifically to bypass parental controls or to hide behavior they know their parents would disapprove of, which is where the real risk lies.
There's no guaranteed way to detect a burner account directly. Signs to watch for include being secretive about their phone, logging out of apps quickly when you're nearby, having multiple email addresses, or referencing online activity that doesn't match their known accounts. BrightCanary monitors everything your child types across all apps — so even if you don't know a burner account exists, concerning activity on it will still surface.
Standard parental controls — including Apple Screen Time and Instagram's Teen Accounts — cannot detect or restrict a burner account your child has set up without your knowledge, because those controls are tied to accounts you're aware of. This is one of the biggest risks of burner accounts: they exist entirely outside whatever protections you've put in place.
Not necessarily — it depends on what you find. If the account is being used to hide dangerous or inappropriate behavior, addressing that behavior is the priority, and deleting the account may be appropriate. If your child is using it for harmless privacy or to escape social pressure, a conversation about the risks and a clear set of expectations may be more productive than an outright ban, which is likely to result in a new secret account you don't know about.
Having a burner account isn't illegal, but it may violate a platform's terms of service — most platforms require users to use their real identity and prohibit multiple accounts under certain conditions. More importantly, the lack of protections on a burner account can expose a teen to illegal content or contact that wouldn't reach them on a properly configured teen account.
Burner accounts are secret social media profiles that expose kids to serious risks, like contact from strangers and inappropriate content, because they lack the safeguards of teen-specific accounts. If you suspect your child has one, ask their reasons, discuss the risks, and use a monitoring app.
BrightCanary helps you monitor your child’s activity on the apps they use the most, even on burner accounts. Download today to get started for free.
Personally, I’m grateful I was able to fumble my way through adolescence without my poor choices and embarrassing moments becoming potential fodder for the online masses. In contrast, today’s teens live with the fear of how they appear on social media — only some of which is in their control — and that fear shapes how they behave in non-digital spaces.
Getting “caught in 4K” means having an embarrassing moment or poor behavior captured in a picture, video, or screenshot.
Going “bad viral” is a close cousin to “caught in 4K.” It refers to an embarrassing moment or poor behavior spreading like wildfire online, resulting in negative consequences, backlash, or reputational damage.
The possibility of getting caught in 4K is good in some ways because it disincentivizes kids from reckless behavior. And the fear of going “bad viral” causes them to think twice before posting, which is wise for their digital footprint.
But there’s a darker side. Kids feel the burden of needing to second-guess everything they do and often feel that they can’t truly be themselves, even offline. There are two primary ways that growing up in digital spaces impacts teens’ behavior:
Studies show that peer feedback in the form of social media “likes” leads adolescents to alter the way they present themselves online, carefully curating their image in search of validation.
On the flip side, roughly four-in-ten teens report not posting something for fear it could be used to embarrass them.
Researchers call the gap between a person’s authentic self and how they present themselves online “self-discrepancy.” Research indicates that the larger the gap, the greater the risk of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
This happens to people of all ages, but teens, whose identities, sense of self-worth, and brains are still developing, are especially susceptible to the pitfalls of the curated self.
When perceived expectations cause people to restrict their behavior or self-censor themselves, it’s known as the chilling effect.
While it’s often used to refer to political free speech, researchers have found the chilling effect happening socially, noting that adolescents constrain themselves offline for fear of how people online will react.
The chilling effect is a double-edged sword for teens. It may mean they decide not to drink or smoke, but it could also cause them to avoid trying new things or taking healthy risks.
How are we parents, many of us who never experienced social media growing up, supposed to help our kids wade through these fears and emerge with a strong, authentic sense of self? It’s a tall order, but here are my tips:
Help your child shrink the shadow that social media casts over their life by helping them balance online habits with offline existence. Specifically:
No, I don’t mean Meta, the social media behemoth. Help your child learn to recognize when social media pressures shape their behavior.
If you notice yourself curating your own feed, call it out in front of your kid. This self-awareness is an essential step in combatting the negative impacts of living under a digital microscope.
You’re an important barometer for your child’s wellbeing. Observe how they behave offline and what they post online. Notice if they seem extra concerned about how many likes they’re getting or frequently obsess about the perfect selfie. Watch to see how wide the gap is between who they are IRL and what they present on social media.
BrightCanary's parent dashboard and emotional insights can help you monitor your child’s online behavior and take a pulse on how it’s impacting them. Try it today for free.
Most of us were lucky to be able to stumble through adolescence without an audience. Today's teens don't have that luxury. The fear of getting caught in 4K or going “bad viral” is real, and its effects reach far beyond the screen. But with the right support, your child can learn to engage with social media in a healthy way and build an identity that belongs to them — not their feed.
Stay informed about what your child sees and says online with BrightCanary, the best child monitoring app for iOS.
One in three boys between ages 11 and 17 gambled in the past year, mostly online, and often in places parents wouldn’t think to look. Here’s everything you need to know about gambling for kids, including what you can do to protect your child.
You’re probably already aware of sites like PokerStars and DraftKings, but gambling for kids goes beyond the usual suspects. Here are some unexpected culprits to have on your radar.
One of the sneakiest ways that gambling shows up is inside video games.
Loot boxes, gacha pulls, skin cases, and pack opening aren’t typically considered gambling from a legal standpoint, but they share many key characteristics with gambling like risk, reward, and uncertainty. This “gamblification” of video games is concerning because it can shape future gambling habits.
Hundreds of free apps simulate casino play using fake currency. They’re typically designed identically to casino apps that use real money, often including the same psychological triggers such as sounds and visuals. These games teach gambling mechanics and normalize the experience.
As if there wasn’t enough reason to worry about your kid on social media, you can add gambling to the list. It can appear in the following forms:
While sports betting sites are legally restricted by age, kids can find ways in.
These days, there are plenty of pathways to gambling for kids.
Six in ten boys report seeing gambling ads on YouTube and social media, according to a Common Sense Media report.
A majority of kids aren’t seeking this content out: 59% of boys who say they watch gambling videos or streams report that the content just showed up on their feed.
Gambling is highly social: over 80% of boys gamble if their friends do, compared to under 20% if their friends don’t.
One-third of boys have gambled with family members, most commonly lottery or scratch tickets.
Even when the gambling seems innocent (I’ve never blinked twice when my son plays luck-based mini-games inside Zelda), there’s still reason for concern.
Now that you’re aware of the prevalence and risks of gambling for kids, here are some steps you can take to protect your child:
Gambling probably seems like nothing more than a fun game to many kids. Make sure your child is aware of the risks and how even legal activities can be problematic.
Show them examples of gamblification in the games they play (loot boxes, skin cases, and pack opening) and on social media (share or follow to win).
According to the Common Sense Media report, over half of boys say their family has no specific rules about gambling. Be clear with your kids about what is and isn’t okay.
BrightCanary can tell you if your child is gambling online or exploring it. The app monitors everything they type and sends you an alert to anything concerning. You also get access to summaries of their activity and full transcripts.
Psst: Coming soon to BrightCanary, you’ll be able to add gambling and related terms as keywords for the system to monitor.
In the United States, traditional gambling — including sports betting, casino games, and lottery tickets — is illegal for minors in every state. The minimum legal age varies by activity and state, typically ranging from 18 to 21. However, many of the gambling-adjacent activities kids most commonly encounter, like loot boxes, gacha pulls, and simulated casino apps, exist in a legal gray area and are not regulated the same way.
Legally, loot boxes are not classified as gambling in most US states, which is why they're widely available to minors inside video games. However, they share the core mechanics of gambling — spending money for a randomized reward — and research consistently links loot box purchasing to symptoms of problematic gambling, particularly in adolescents. Several other countries, including Belgium and the Netherlands, have moved to regulate or ban them outright.
Warning signs include preoccupation with gambling or gaming for rewards, spending more money than intended on in-game purchases, becoming secretive or defensive about their online activity, mood changes after playing (especially irritability or withdrawal), borrowing money or asking for more than usual, and neglecting school, sleep, or social activities in favor of gambling-adjacent games or content.
Kids rarely tell parents when they're gambling online. Signs to watch for include unexplained charges on a credit card or digital wallet, use of a parent's or sibling's accounts, secretive behavior around their phone or computer, and references to betting or winnings in conversation. BrightCanary monitors everything your child types across all their apps and can alert you if gambling-related content or conversations appear.
Traditional gambling involves wagering real money on an uncertain outcome for a chance to win money back. Gamblification refers to the incorporation of gambling mechanics — randomized rewards, chance-based purchases, the thrill of uncertainty — into non-gambling contexts like video games and social media. While gamblification may not involve real money directly, it normalizes gambling psychology and can shape habits that carry into adulthood.
The goal isn't to alarm them — it's to make sure they can recognize gambling mechanics when they see them and understand why they're designed the way they are. Start with something they already do, like opening packs in a game, and ask them what they think about the randomness of it. Lead with curiosity rather than concern. Kids are more receptive when they feel like they're being included in a conversation rather than lectured.
Gambling for kids shows up in many unexpected ways, such as gamblification in video games and simulated casino play inside social media apps. Normalizing the experience at a young age makes it more likely a child will engage in gambling when they’re of age, and kids who already gamble have a higher likelihood of developing a problem than do adults. To protect your child against online gambling, you should talk to them about the risks and monitor them online.
BrightCanary helps you monitor your child’s activity on the apps they use the most. Download today to get started for free.
Age verification happens any time you have to verify your birthdate online. Historically, most social media sites used flimsy age-verification methods, if they used any at all. But growing concerns over the dangers of social media for kids and an increased prevalence of age-verification laws means that more and more platforms are adopting stricter measures to keep kids safe.
However, this rapidly changing landscape has brought with it confusion and, for some, concern over privacy. Here’s everything you need to know about age verification on social media.
There are three primary forms of age verification currently employed by social media platforms:
Landing squarely in the “flimsy” category are platforms that require only a promise from the user that they’re the appropriate age to be using a platform.
Think: a user-provided date of birth or a pop-up requiring clicking a button assuring they’re of age. In the absence of any additional verification measures, age gating is basically just the honor system.
The newest player in the age-verification game is AI-powered estimations, and social media platforms have quickly jumped on the bandwagon. Age estimation systems use two main forms of algorithmic analysis to estimate a person’s age:
ID scanning is pretty straightforward. For this, users are required to submit a screenshot of a government-issued ID, such as a driver’s license, to verify their age.
Age-verification systems vary widely in their accuracy. For instance, a government-issued ID is a much more reliable measure than a user attesting to their age. Here are the biggest gaps in social media age verification:
From AI-generated deepfakes to holding the camera up to an actor onscreen, kids are endlessly inventive when it comes to bypassing age verification.
AI age estimation is notoriously unreliable for teenagers. While being a few years off for an adult isn’t a big deal, there’s a big difference between an algorithm deciding a user is 15 versus 19.
Infamously, facial recognition systems are biased because they’re trained on limited data sets. People of color, trans and nonbinary individuals, and disabled people are often misclassified.
Social media platforms are taking steps to ensure privacy and data security. For example, they may promise to only use images for age verification and to delete them immediately after processing.
But these companies don’t have the best track record when it comes to protecting children’s privacy, leading to 80% of adults expressing concern about data used to verify their child’s age being permanently stored, sold, or shared.
If you’re uncomfortable with letting your child scan their face (which I totally get — I’m right there with you), your best bet is to not let them use platforms that rely on this technology until privacy is better proven. Your kid might not be happy about it, but if you explain your concerns, they’re likely to at least understand your reasons.
Even though reliability gaps exist in age-verification technology, that doesn't mean you shouldn’t use these common-sense tools. The key is to layer them with other measures to give your child the best possible protection online. Here are three steps you can take to fill in the gaps:
Parental controls on your child’s iPhone and their Google account make it more difficult (though certainly not impossible) for them to download apps they’re too young for.
On iPhone, use Ask to Buy as well as device spot-checks to keep tabs on what apps your child is using. That way, you can verify they have their age set correctly and set up any available parental controls.
BrightCanary scans everything your child types on their device across all apps and sends you real-time alerts if any red flags are detected, such as age-inappropriate content.
Age verification on social media is an important, yet imperfect, means for protecting kids on the internet. It works best when layered with other measures such as using parental controls and monitoring your child’s online activity.
BrightCanary is an excellent complement to age-verification systems because it monitors your child’s activity on the apps they use the most. Download today to get started for free.
If your child participates in sports or extracurricular activities, you’ve likely heard of the messaging app GroupMe. It’s also a popular way for kids to communicate with their peers from school. But is GroupMe safe for kids?
If your child is over 16, GroupMe is probably fine if you monitor their interactions. But kids, tweens, and younger teens should steer clear.
Here’s what you need to know.
GroupMe is a messaging platform for group chats, with a discovery element that makes it feel adjacent to social media.
Users can:
Did you know? BrightCanary monitors every app across iOS, including GroupMe chats.
GroupMe is restricted to users over 13, but the only verification is the user-provided date of birth. GroupMe also doesn’t have any official measures to ensure that groups intended for adults or kids stay that way.
Group creators can choose to screen people before letting them into the chat, including asking for their age and requiring a profile picture, but those things are easy to fib.
If your child uses GroupMe strictly to communicate with their IRL friends, it’s not any more dangerous than iMessage or Google Messages. But the open nature of GroupMe means things can get real dicey real quick.
Here are the risks:
Not only does GroupMe not have any parental controls, but they also have zero account privacy settings. That means your child can’t limit direct messages to people they know or restrict who can add them to group chats.
As a messaging platform that kids can use to connect with their classmates or teammates, GroupMe is great in theory. But its lack of parental controls, no privacy options, and the ease with which strangers can contact children on the platform present too many risks.
If you do choose to let your child use GroupMe, make sure they know the risks, be clear about who they are and aren’t allowed to communicate with on the app, and monitor their use.
BrightCanary helps you monitor everything your child types on all platforms, including GroupMe. Download today to get started for free.
As a Boy Mom, writing about looksmaxxing is personal. My tween currently prioritizes comfort (nothing but sweatpants!) and convenience (haircuts are a chore!) over aesthetics. But as he speeds toward middle school, I know that’s bound to change.
Just as my generation of girls absorbed harmful pressure about looks from magazines like Seventeen and CosmoGirl, social media has burst the protective bubble boys once existed inside. Adolescent males are now inundated with toxic ideals — and looksmaxxing is one of the more alarming ones. It’s enough to convince me to delay social media for my son as long as possible.
Here’s everything you need to know about looksmaxxing.
Looksmaxxing is a manosphere-adjacent subculture glorifying hypermasculine male bodies and promoting (frequently dubious) methods to maximize physical appearance.
“Scores” are assigned to physical aspects, often in pursuit of biologically impossible standards. Some of the physical characteristics sought after in looksmaxxing include:
Looksmaxxers will go to varying lengths to achieve their goals, from routine hygiene and fitness (softmaxxing) to invasive and potentially dangerous tactics (hardmaxxing).
Looksmaxxing is entirely a byproduct of internet culture. It originated on incel message boards in the 2010s and was popularized in the 2020s as part of the broader TikTok “glow-up” trend.
Now, dangerous social media algorithms feed looksmaxxing content to young males, and forums such as Reddit and Discord give young men the means to dive deep into the weeds.
In my opinion, here are the top three looksmaxxing dangers you need to know:
Many looksmaxxing techniques overlap with disordered eating behaviors, particularly rigidity around numbers. However, these behaviors are often masked by an atypical presentation, such as muscle bulking and over-exercising.
Not coincidentally, the past two decades have seen a 416% increase in boys hospitalized for eating disorders.
Looksmaxxing promotes a narrow, misogynistic picture of masculinity, telling males they must take extreme measures to make themselves attractive to women before they’re considered a “real man.”
Looksmaxxing rating systems are built on Eurocentric ideals, and many traits coveted by the movement, like fair skin and symmetrical features, are associated with whiteness.
Raters disguise racist sentiments as pseudo-science by using technical terms to describe traits commonly associated with non-white people, like “recessed palate” or “protruding upper third.”
Since my daughter was very young, I’ve worked to counterprogram societal messaging that her worth is in her looks. Looksmaxxing is a good reminder that our boys need this, too. Be overt and make it an ongoing conversation.
To offset the Eurocentric, ableist, fatphobic ideals looksmaxxing promotes, expose your son to racially and physically diverse people, in media and in real life. Help him identify successful men who don’t fit traditional male beauty standards.
Involving male figures in the conversation will help him feel less alone. Ask the men in his life to tell him about their experiences with body image growing up.
Get that toxic nonsense off his feed! Show your son how to regularly reset his social media and YouTube algorithms for a healthier online experience.
Keep an eye on what your son does and says online so you can watch for looksmaxxing red flags. BrightCanary can help by monitoring everything your son types across all platforms and watches on YouTube.
If your son shows signs of mental health issues or disordered eating, seek professional help right away. Here are some resources:
Looksmaxxing is a dangerous social media trend promoting toxic and unhealthy standards for men. To protect your son, intentionally counterprogram looksmaxxing messaging, monitor his online activity, and seek professional help if needed.
BrightCanary helps you monitor your child’s activity on the apps they use the most and alerts you to anything concerning, like messages about body image. You’ll also get insights into your child’s online activity and learn if they’re engaging with content about the manosphere and looksmaxxing. Download today to get started for free.
