Recently, news about the war came on the radio. I was preoccupied, so it didn’t even register what was on the radio, which meant I was caught off-guard later when my son said hearing about Iran’s nuclear weapons scared him.
I’m no stranger to tough questions about heavy topics, as the parent of an anxious, highly inquisitive kid. I had to fly by the seat of my pants this time, but I generally consider myself well-equipped to answer (almost) anything at (almost) any time.
Here are my tips from the trenches, supported by advice from child mental health experts, on how to help your child cope with scary news.
Keep up with the news so that you’re prepared to answer your child’s questions. If your child asks you about something you don’t feel equipped to discuss, be honest. Tell them you need to gather more information and then follow up later.
If there’s something big happening in the news, make a point to discuss it as a family. Start by asking your kid what they’ve heard and what questions they have. The unknown can be particularly anxiety-provoking for some children. Help your child make sense of the news before it spirals into fear.
Did you know? You can stay informed about what your child is looking up online with BrightCanary monitoring.
Listen, I’m an anxious parent raising an anxious child, so I know this isn’t easy. Use all of your coping tools to manage your own emotions so that you’re not piling onto theirs. Sometimes, this means faking it until you make it.
Don’t dismiss your child’s fears. Pretending everything is hunky-dory won’t erase their worry, and it may signal to them that they can’t bring their fears to you.
Instead, validate their concerns and offer the most reassurance you can while remaining authentic. For example, when my son asked me about Iran’s nuclear weapons, here’s what I said:
“You’re right, that is scary. I try to remind myself how foolish Iran would be to bomb the U.S., because the U.S. has nuclear weapons, too, and could just retaliate. That’s why countries have nuclear weapons, as a deterrent. Everyone’s really just trying to scare each other. ”
I’m a firm believer that you can discuss any topic with any child of any age. The key is tailoring it to their maturity and level of understanding.
I knew my son was capable of understanding the concept of mutually assured destruction and also that his brain needs lots of details in order to process situations. If I were speaking with my 6-year-old, I would have stayed high-level with my response and emphasized that her little corner of the world is safe.
Kids deserve to know what’s going on in the world, but (much like adults) too much exposure to scary news can cause stress. It can make it feel like faraway events are in our own backyards. Kids also don’t have the lifetime of context that adults do to help them make sense of things.
Here are some ways to help your child find a healthy balance between informed and overexposed:
It’s normal for kids to worry, but sometimes that worry crosses into anxiety and interferes with their life. When that happens, it may be time to seek professional help.
Here are some signs your child might be struggling with anxiety:
The world can be a scary place. Social media produces a level of near-constant exposure to the news that can cause worry and anxiety in some kids. Be proactive and discuss current events with your child before their fears have a chance to spiral.
If they come to you with concerns, validate their feelings and give them age-appropriate context to help them make sense of what's going on in the world. Help them assess their exposure to the news and encourage them to set healthy screen time limits.
BrightCanary can help you keep tabs on what news events your child is curious about so you can be prepared to answer their questions. Download it today to get started for free.
