Not Just a Girl Thing: The Hidden Signs of Eating Disorders in Boys

The number of males hospitalized for eating disorders has risen 416% in the past two decades. Stigma and underreporting mean it’s likely that prevalence rates for eating disorders in males are vastly underestimated, but recent evidence suggests it’s now increasing faster among males than among females. Experts point to social media and influencer culture as a driving force behind this rise.  

Parents can easily miss the warning signs because disordered eating often presents atypically in males, such as an intense focus on healthy eating or muscle building.

This article looks at the role internet culture plays in the rise of disordered eating in boys, and what you can do if your son shows warning signs.

How social media fuels eating disorders in tween and teen boys

For expert guidance, I turned to Maiken Wiese, a Registered Dietitian and Certified Dietitian-Nutritionist specializing in eating disorder recovery for teens and adults. 

Wiese said she suspects some of the perceived increase in eating disorders in males is actually attributable to a rise in awareness and diagnosis, but that influencer culture definitely plays a huge role in the spread of disordered eating behaviors. 

Here are some of the ways social media contributes to the rise: 

• Influencers. Social media is filled with influencers peddling supplements and diet products targeted at males.
• Algorithms. Social media algorithms love to create problems, then sell you “solutions.” Young males are repeatedly shown content that feeds their insecurities, then are offered fixes. These fixes are frequently pricey and often lack evidence to support their claims. 
• Looksmaxxing. Looksmaxxing is an internet subculture glorifying hypermasculine bodies and promoting questionable methods to “maximize” physical appearance, including extreme diet and exercise.

The warning signs of eating disorders in boys

According to Wiese, “[males] are less likely to get help for eating disorders because many are conditioned to not speak as openly about their struggles, so body dysmorphia and fear around food might not be as evident.” 

She also points out that the body ideal that males strive for can vary more than for females, with some males seeking to be larger or more muscular and others striving to be thin. This makes spotting disordered eating in boys particularly tricky.  

Here are some atypical warning signs to watch for: 

• Preoccupation with muscle growth
• Excessive exercise or weightlifting 
• Being convinced that their body build is too small or not muscular enough
• Sports weigh-ins that encourage rapid weight loss
• Withdrawal from activities or friends out of concern about appearance, particularly body size

Wiese cautioned parents with children of any gender to also keep an eye out for these standard warning signs: 

• Excessive food and diet talk
• Preoccupation with appearance or weight loss
• Avoiding mealtimes
• Picking at foods
• Avoiding entire food groups

How to help your son have a healthy relationship with food and his body

Taking active steps to help encourage healthy food and eating behaviors is an often-overlooked protective factor. Here are some tips:

• Media literacy. Wiese suggests media literacy to help your son think critically about the messages he gets about diet, exercise, and body image.
• Reset his algorithm. Help your son periodically reset his algorithms to reduce exposure to harmful content. 
• Set an example. Wiese advises to “refrain from speaking negatively about your body, other people's bodies, or food around your child,” lest they internalize messages about food and their bodies.
• Keep an eye on your child’s online activity. Not only can the internet feed your child toxic messages about diet and body image, but it’s also a window into his emotional state. A monitoring app like BrightCanary gives you the insight you need to spot early warning signs and intervene. 

What to do if you think your son has an eating disorder

Wiese says, “Girl, boy, or nonbinary, it’s always hard to struggle with an eating disorder, and it can feel threatening for those behaviors to be noticed. It is incredibly important to address it, however!”

Here are her recommendations: 

• Educate yourself about eating disorders. 
• Find a calm moment to discuss your concerns privately. 
• Use I-centered statements, such as, “I’m concerned because I’ve noticed you’ve stopped eating certain foods” or “I’m worried that you haven’t been eating breakfast lately.” 
• Keep it as simple and fact-based as possible. 
• Suggest a specific action. For example: “I want you to see your pediatrician for a checkup so we can talk about next steps. “

Resources for families navigating eating disorders in boys

• F.E.A.S.T: Support, education, empowerment and community for families navigating a child’s eating disorder.  
• Men of F.E.A.S.T: A dedicated community for fathers and male caregivers supporting loved ones with eating disorders.
• Project Heal: Financial assistance, case management, and treatment placement. 
• National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA): Information, advice, screening tools, and a provider directory. 

Bottom line

Eating disorders are on the rise for tween and teen boys, due in no small part to social media and influencer culture that promotes unhealthy messages about food, body image, and exercise. You should watch for warning signs in your son and intervene if you have concerns. If your son shows signs of disordered eating, educate yourself about eating disorders and keep your discussions with him about it calm, private, and fact-based. 

Know what your child is worried about and interested in with BrightCanary child monitoring. Start your free trial today.

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How Does Social Media Influence Eating Disorders? How to Help Your Kid Use Social Media Responsibly Is Discord Safe? A Parent’s Guide to Discord Parental Controls How to Use Affect Labeling to Talk to Kids About Inappropriate Behavior Online