What Does Healthy Social Media Use Actually Look Like for Teens?

Rather than strict guidelines for how much time kids should spend online, the American Psychological Association suggests prioritizing helping kids use social media in ways that promote healthy socialization. But what does that look like? 

This article explores the social benefits of social media for kids, helps you assess if your child is using these platforms in positive ways, and provides tips for how to help build healthy social media habits for teens. 

How social media can benefits kids socially 

Prioritizing peers is a normal and necessary part of adolescent development, and social media use can be a healthy part of that picture. Here are a few ways that social media can benefit kids socially: 

• A sense of community. This benefit is particularly strong for teens who belong to marginalized groups or otherwise feel isolated because it helps them form supportive connections they may not have access to in their daily lives. 
• Identity exploration. Adolescence is all about self-discovery and identity formation. Social media is a valuable tool for these critical tasks because it provides a way for teens to connect with others around shared interests, values, and experiences. This is especially beneficial if there aren’t people in their everyday lives who they can connect with in this way. 
• Filling in the gaps. In-person socialization can be difficult for some kids, particularly those who are autistic or have social anxiety. While online friendships shouldn’t replace in-person connections, they can provide emotional support and prevent loneliness for kids who struggle socially. 
• A sense of shared purpose. Social media provides an avenue for kids to engage with and advocate for issues that are important to them. This can provide a sense of purpose and belonging that benefits them developmentally. 

Relationship risks of social media for kids 

Despite the benefits, social media use also presents interpersonal risks. For example:

• Isolation. Spending time online at the expense of in-person interactions can lead to isolation.
• Cyberbullying. Cyberbullying is a major problem, and nowhere is it more prevalent than social media. Being bullied online can negatively impact a child’s mental health as well as cause them to withdraw socially.  
• Heightened social exclusion. Being left out royally sucks, and social media magnifies this problem because it puts the exclusion on full display, even when kids are at home. 
• A false sense of connection. Passively observing what others are doing online creates the illusion of connection but, in fact, leads kids to feel even more isolated. 
• Social comparison. Social media posts are typically highly curated. When kids watch their peers’ highlight reels online, it distorts what’s normal and may cause them to feel bad about themselves in comparison.  

How to tell if your child is socializing in healthy ways online

As you evaluate if your child is socializing online in healthy ways, here are some guiding questions:  

• Do they report social media leaving them feeling drained or connected? 
• Do they have strong cravings to use social media? 
• Are they able to easily step away?
• Are they just passively consuming, or are they also engaging by commenting and creating? 
• Are they lying about their social media use or sneaking devices during times when they aren’t allowed? 
• Has their mood shifted? 
• Is their sleep impacted? 
• Have they withdrawn from offline relationships? 

Tips for helping your child build healthy social media habits

Removing access to social media or setting rigid restrictions can feel punitive and may cut your child off from healthy social connections. Instead, use these tips to help them build healthy social media habits they can carry into adulthood: 

Natural boundaries over strict limits 

Focus on teaching them natural boundaries based on context, instead of strict, externally-imposed limits. For example:

• No devices during family meals. 
• Devices off at bedtime.
• Prioritizing in-person activities over online time. 

Stay involved 

Parental involvement is key to promoting positive social media use. 

• Open communication. Ask about their online life without judgment and coach them toward healthier social media habits. 
• Monitor their social media use, particularly during early adolescence. BrightCanary helps you keep an eye on how your child uses social media while honoring their developmentally appropriate needs for autonomy and privacy. 

Coach them 

Helping your child develop healthy social media habits today will help them navigate social media on their own later. 

• Build awareness. Talk about what healthy social media use looks like and what behaviors to watch for in themselves. 
• Guide their use. Help your child curate their social media feed to include positive communities and supportive friends. 
• Encourage active participation over passive scrolling. 

Foster balance

The ultimate goal is for your child to have a healthy balance between their online and offline lives. Encourage them to prioritize positive offline activities, and model healthy social media habits yourself. 

In short

Social media provides kids with social benefits like community, identity exploration, and a sense of shared purpose, especially for those who feel isolated or struggle socially. But it also brings social risks, including cyberbullying, exclusion, and a false sense of community. 

Monitor your child’s social media activity and watch for warning signs like withdrawal from offline life and dishonesty about their social media use. Focus on natural boundaries over strict limits and encourage healthy social media habits such as active engagement rather than passive scrolling. 

Learn more about how to monitor social media accounts, and get started with BrightCanary child monitoring today.

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