4 Things Parents Need to Know to Be Responsible in Today’s World

Do you lie awake at night worrying about your kids? (I know I’m not the only one.) Today’s world looks so different from the one we grew up in that it can be hard to wrap our heads around how to keep our kids safe. Here are four things you need to know to be a responsible, modern parent. 

1. You don’t need to know everything

It’s easy to feel like you have to keep up with all the current slang, the latest safety risks, and the newest apps just to be a responsible parent. (And now we’re supposed to become AI experts, too?!) The pressure is enough to send conscientious caregivers into an anxiety spiral. 

Here’s the thing, though: you’ll never know everything. There will always be something new that catches you by surprise. I write about this stuff for a living, and my husband works in technology, and even we struggle to keep up. 

Instead of trying to become an internet safety expert, try this: 

• Get curious. You don’t need to know everything, but neither should you stick your head in the sand. Pay attention to what you hear floating from the other room while your kid hangs with their friends. Click on that news article about a new, concerning internet trend (but not all the articles!). Talk to other parents about what they’re seeing and hearing.  
• Ask questions. Your child is the best source of information about their world. Ask them what they’re into online, who they’re talking to, and what concerns them.
• Trust your gut when something seems off. You may not be an internet expert, but you are an expert on your kid. If you get a bad feeling, don’t dismiss it. That’s the time to dig in. 

Free downloadable guide: What Parents Need to Know in the Digital Age

2. Your child is safer outside than they are online

I’m not trying to scare you, but this is something many parents misunderstand. Statistically, our kids are far safer out in the world than we were growing up. At the same time, the internet introduces a whole host of risks we never faced. 

That’s not to say you shouldn’t attend to your child’s safety outside of the house. (They should know not to take candy from strangers!) But kids also need to be coached about online stranger danger. 

Just like you periodically peek out the window to make sure your kid isn’t setting fire to something, or text around if you can’t find them, you also need to keep an eye on them online. And just like in the real world, supervising your child is how they gain the skills and earn your trust to be awarded more freedom over time. 

BrightCanary is an excellent tool for supervising your child online. The app monitors everything they type across all apps and websites and sends you real-time alerts so you can stay close without feeling like a helicopter parent.

3. Predators are looking for your child, but there’s a lot you can do to protect them

Social media has created a breeding ground for child sexual predation. Reports of online child exploitation attempts have risen a whopping 192% in the span of one year, and the majority of girls have been contacted by a stranger on social media in a manner that makes them uncomfortable. 

The statistics are sobering, but you have a lot of power to help your child stay safe: 

• Instill strong boundaries. I used to work in sex offender treatment, which taught me that one of the best ways to protect your child is to teach them strong boundaries — for the big stuff and the mundane. During the grooming process, predators test a child’s boundaries in small, seemingly innocuous ways before escalating. Kids who exhibit firm boundaries from the start are far less likely to become victims. 
• Teach them about the dangers. No one wants to talk to their child about sexual exploitation. It’s icky and awkward. But a child who knows the dangers is better able to spot warning signs. Plus, establishing open communication makes it more likely your child will come to you when something’s wrong. 
• Be present. Predators are charming and sneaky. Even the most savvy kid needs another set of eyes watching out for them. Monitor their online activity for warning signs. (BrightCanary sends you real-time alerts at the first sign of exploitation or grooming.)

4. Kids need training wheels online 

They may be digital natives, but kids shouldn’t be set loose online without any guidance. Nor does it serve them to control their every digital action. A child who feels guided online, not just restricted, is more likely to come to you when something goes wrong. When your child is younger, you should play a more active role in monitoring them. As they mature and prove themselves, gradually give them more freedom. 

If your child is targeted online, here’s what to do, featuring tips from child safety expert Detective Rich Wistocki.

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