I’ve written a lot about how social media is detrimental to kids’ mental health. But witnessing the effort some teens in my life put into selfies motivated me to explore the impact these platforms have on young people’s self-esteem in particular. Does the pressure to be perfect online hurt the way they feel about themselves? I discovered the answer is a solid (and, frankly, unsurprising) yes.
Heightened attention to physical appearance and wavering self-esteem is normal for teens, due in part to developing bodies and an increased awareness of social comparison. Here’s how social media has supercharged this:
Social media prompts unhealthy comparisons in users of all ages. But adolescents' prefrontal cortexes aren’t fully formed, so they process videos and images they see online in a particularly harmful way, literally changing their still-developing brains.
Teens are bombarded with curated, heavily edited images online. Research suggests that these unrealistic beauty standards can significantly change their perception of attractiveness, including how they rank themselves in comparison.
It’s not just viewing altered images that’s a problem. Using filters and editing tools to maximize their own physical attractiveness can also lead to lower self-image. This is particularly stark among teens of color due to racial biases in social media beauty filters. Often modeled on white people, filters reinforce racist ideals of attractiveness.
This conversation often focuses on girls, but boys are also harmed. In one study, nearly every boy reported being exposed to content about appearance such as building muscle and having a certain jawline. Research shows that the more time boys spend on social media, the lower their body satisfaction.
Another way young boys are impacted is that they’re frequently fed a narrow idea of what it means to be male. Exposure to content insisting they must build muscle and have lots of money to impress girls is associated with anxiety, feelings of isolation, and low self-esteem in boys.
While self-esteem around physical appearance takes a particular hit, it’s not the only area that suffers. Constant comparison with others’ social lives and achievements creates feelings of not measuring up.
Here are some signs that may indicate your teen’s self-esteem is suffering due to social media:
Here’s how to help your teen’s self-esteem survive social media:
Social media algorithms are like echo chambers, amplifying the number of image-focused posts teens are exposed to. In fact, two in three boys report being fed content that promotes stereotypes about masculinity without seeking it. Help your teen periodically reset their algorithm.
Adolescents with strong offline relationships exhibit higher self-esteem. Encourage your teen to hang with their friends in person.
Help your teen understand the interaction between social media and self-image. Give them opportunities to process those feelings and encourage them to pull back or take a break from social media when it makes them feel bad.
Adults aren’t immune to the vicious cycle of social media comparison. But seeing you negatively compare yourself to what you see online sets a harmful example for your child.
This is an instance where we need to fake it till we feel it, folks. Work out your own social media-induced insecurities with a friend or therapist and keep that business away from your impressionable offspring.
Overall, there’s a societal acceptance of body dissatisfaction in teens (especially girls). This creates a dangerous environment for teens because their feelings of inadequacy over what they see online are easily overlooked as typical.
Monitor what your child does online and how it makes them feel, and don’t dismiss your instincts when you suspect something is wrong.
BrightCanary helps you keep an eye on social media’s impact on your teen.
You get:
Exposure to heavily edited images, unrealistic beauty standards, and unhealthy portrayals of gender roles on social media negatively impact teens’ self-esteem. You can help by keeping an eye on your child’s activity online, resetting their algorithm, teaching them digital literacy, and modeling a healthy relationship with social media.
BrightCanary helps you monitor your child’s activity on social media by monitoring everything they type across all apps. Download today to get started with a free trial.
