Pornography is more accessible than ever, and kids are seeing it younger than most parents realize. Studies show the average age boys first see porn is just 9–11 years old. With mainstream porn sites delivering violent and degrading images for free, experts say pornography has become one of the biggest crises of the digital age.
We spoke with Dr. Gail Dines, Founder & CEO of Culture Reframed, and Dr. Mandy Sanchez, Director of Programming, about what parents need to know, how to start conversations, and what families, schools, and organizations can do together to protect kids.
Culture Reframed is a global, science-based organization that equips parents, educators, and professionals to address the harms of pornography on youth.
Through robust online courses, resources, and advocacy, they help ensure kids develop healthy, respectful, and egalitarian views of sex and intimacy. Every year, they support tens of thousands of families worldwide.
What inspired the organization’s founding, and what is your mission today?
Dr. Gail Dines: Most of us on the Culture Reframed (CR) team have been studying the effects of pornography on young people for many years. What galvanized us into founding CR is the way mainstream, free pornography has become so accessible to youth. Pornography has become the wallpaper of their lives.
In the absence of comprehensive sex education, young people are turning to pornography. The adolescent brain is especially vulnerable to such images because it is still in formation, and they don’t yet have a developed prefrontal cortex that allows for rational behavior. Young people, especially boys, are more likely to develop their sexual template and sexual scripts from pornography, which can lead to anxiety, depression, addiction, and sexual abuse of others.
Our mission is to work to stop the emotional, behavioral, and sexual harms of pornography on young people. We have developed courses for parents, educators, and medical experts because these are the primary people tasked with protecting the well-being of young people. Education is a central part of our work, and our courses are unique in that they are science-based but accessible.
What are some of the biggest misconceptions parents have about how pornography impacts young people?
GD: One major misconception is “not my child.” If your child has a device, the question isn’t if they’ll see pornography, but when. Even if they’re not looking for it, the porn industry develops algorithms that target young people, often through social media platforms.
Many parents are not aware of just how violent mainstream pornography is. We encourage parents to take a quick look at the major porn sites, such as Pornhub, so they can see what their kids are seeing. They most likely will be horrified.
Parents also need to become familiar with social media platforms such as Snapchat and TikTok because these can often become a gateway to pornography use. Studies show that these sites are full of pornographic images, as well as men trolling to groom kids into becoming a victim of sexual abuse.
This is a lot to ask of parents, but given the nature of online life, it is as important as educating your child about the harms of drugs. Pornography has become one of the major crises of the digital age.
Mandy Sanchez: The second misconception is that porn “is not that bad.” The fact is that most mainstream, online pornography is violent and degrading, depicting harmful stereotypes and unhealthy sexual scripts. There is more than four decades of scientific research that documents the social, emotional, behavioral, and cognitive harms of pornography to young people.
Finally, parents often think there is nothing they can really do about their kiddos’ eminent exposure to pornography — and this misconception often precludes many parents from believing they have any control. But, the truth is, parents are perfectly positioned to help their children build resistance and resilience to pornography.
By becoming knowledgeable, skilled, and confident to have critical conversations, parents can offer their kids an alternative script: healthy and safe messages about sex and relationships based on their age and stage of development.
If a parent suspects their child has been exposed to porn, what’s the most important first step they should take?
GD: Approach them without shame or blame. Young people feel shame (among other emotions) when watching pornography. The goal is to help them understand that it is not their fault, but rather the fault of a porn industry run amok, and the failure of policymakers to address the problem of easily accessible pornography.
If your child has seen pornography, you need to have a calm, honest, and inviting conversation about the way they feel. They will be disturbed by the images, but often lack the vocabulary to put these feelings into words. Help them to think through the ways they feel and provide plenty of room for them to express themselves. You can ask questions, but don’t lecture your kids.
Importantly, keep the conversations short. No young person wants to be sitting across from their parent talking about pornography, so make the conversations as inviting as possible.
If you feel your child is developing problematic porn use, which involves behaviors such as isolation from peers and family, lack of sleep, excessive time spent online, and mood shifts, we recommend finding a therapist who specializes in problematic porn use among young people.
What practical tips would you give parents to start age-appropriate conversations with their kids about pornography and hypersexualized media?
MS: Educate. Compose. Communicate. Monitor. Report.
First, I encourage parents to become knowledgeable about the harms of porn, how it shapes and influences young people, and how the industry is exposing them.
Next, COMPOSE yourself in order to create the space for a calm, safe conversation. Remember to respond with empathy and care, instead of reacting with shame or blame. Aim for short, regular conversations that meet your kiddos where they are. And if you don’t know where they are or what they’re doing or feeling, ask!
Be present and watch for warning signs that your kiddo may be struggling. Look for teachable moments in everyday media to educate kids about consent, body boundaries, digital safety and well-being, and safe, healthy behavior.
Monitor connected devices with privacy settings and parental controls.
Finally, report online exchanges involving child sexual abuse materials to the the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children online through the CyberTipline.
What role do you think parents, schools, and organizations like Culture Reframed can play together in creating healthier digital spaces for kids?
MS: Parents, schools, and organizations like Culture Reframed can work together to shift the cultural narratives about pornography, reframing the conversation around healthy, safe, connected relationships among young people.
Research consistently shows that when we have porn-critical conversations with young people, risky behavior is reduced by 75%!
When these groups unite to create and maintain healthier, safer digital spaces for young people, we become an unstoppable force. We can reduce porn’s harmful effects and provide the space for young people to develop authentic, healthy, safe, and rewarding relationships.
Pornography has become one of the defining crises of the digital age — and kids are on the front lines. Parents can’t rely on schools, platforms, or tech companies to protect their kids. It starts with open conversations, proactive monitoring, and supportive resources.
Parents don't have to do it alone. Culture Reframed offers science-based courses to help parents build resilience in their children against porn culture. And BrightCanary helps parents monitor what kids type across every app they use, so you can step in when it matters most.
